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1. Ogre-the-top amazing Shrek ears Croc charms that are truly an ~all star~ fashion choice. Prepare to be swamped with compliments. You'll be so glad you (Fi)ona pair. OK, I'll stop now.
But I will say that ♫ somebody once told me ♫ this small biz specializes in fun 3D-printed goodies.
Promising review: "AMAZING. I now have the Crocs of my dreams!!! The Shrek ears are definitely a different green than the Crocs I got (I went with the celery ones), but they complement each other so well. I'm obsessed." —Pamela Perler
Get them from 33printslv on Etsy for $5.99.
2. A propeller hat for your dog, because...I mean, just LOOK at it. This may be the greatest impulse purchase you will ever make.
Please do yourself a favor and look at the rest of the reviewer photos. Just keep your doggo supervised while they're sporting it, since it does have small plastic parts!
Promising reviews: "I got this as a surprise for my husband. He said our dog needed a hat. My dog LOVES wearing it. He puts a smile on everyone’s faces when he’s in it." —Susan Woodson
"I don't normally leave good reviews, but this is the one accessory my dog allows me to put on her, and I love how happy it makes her. I now have to keep it within her eyesight so she can bring it to me when she wants to wear it." —Max pierce
Get it from Amazon for $11.99.
3. And we can't let the cat feel left out of looking ridiculous! So there's this sea creature cat hat if you're sitting there thinking your resident floofbucket couldn't get any cuter or sillier. But what if you dressed them as a CRAB? Or an OCTOPUS? Or an AXOLOTL? You gotta at least try it in the name of science.
And once again, you gotta see the review photos.
Promising review: "My cats are not very excited about this hat, but it's OK because I am very excited on their behalf. I tried it on two different cats, and it fit both of them, even though one cat is really small and the other is a bit overweight. I got really lucky, and my surprise cat hat was the axolotl. I love that these are handmade. The packaging is also very cute (it says on the back: 'It's time to cat in style,' and I 10,000% agree with that statement). Highest recommendation." —mms
Get one of six random designs from Amazon for $8.29.
4. An iconic "This is fine" meme Funko Pop! figure, so you and your desk decor can pay homage to the meme that never fails to make you chuckle (even if it's in a pained, existential dread sort of way).
Promising review: "Things at work have been super stressful lately, and as a result I’ve been losing morale. This little guy makes me smile whenever I’m sitting at my desk a bit frustrated. The lettering was fine on the mug I received, and the paint seems fine. I would keep the cardboard panel with the flames on it to give it better context. I just taped the cardboard flames onto my pencil holder. Love this little guy." —Cheryll
Get it from Amazon for $13.99.
5. A pair of giant adhesive googly eyes to help you bring pretty much anything to life. I can't for the life of me tell you why I find the personified bush below so funny, but I do.
Promising review: "These are awesome! I bought them along with a giant mustache to decorate an unsightly file cabinet that was placed in front of my desk at the office. They make everyone smile when they walk by, and they also serve as an early warning for earthquakes. It was a little tricky to remove the backing to stick them on the cabinet, but once I got it started they were easy to apply and have stayed on with no issues." —S. Freeman
Get them from Amazon for $2.69.
6. Incredible, glittery woman yelling at cat earrings available in any style of earring you and your lobes fancy. These meme-orable bbs are sure to make people point and yell — but in a *good* way.
They're from a UK-based small business!
Promising review: "The packaging was so cute and came with a sticker and lollipop. The earrings are so good; I love them so much I even ordered some more from the seller. They seem really sweet, and they have such cool earrings I would definitely recommend. Truly just like the photo. I love them!" —Emily
Get them from Snoutface Studio on Etsy for $7.86+ (available as studs, drops, hoops, or clip-ons).
7. A doggone hilarious wiener dog pool tube sure to have everyone dachs-hounding you to find out where you got it.
Promising review: "This float is absolutely adorable. It is very easy to inflate if you have an air pump. I love how the valve lets air in but not out — makes it so easy to inflate. I am an owner of dachshunds so I absolutely love it. As you can tell from the pictures, it is a very large float." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $22.99 (available in three styles).
8. OR! A pool float that looks like a sentient potato, because that's exactly the energy you want to channel while lounging on the water this summer.
Pre-order the potato or cow potato version from Smoko for $65 (estimated ship date is 7/20).
9. A genuinely hilarious sticker celebrating one of the most relatable but also most underrated lines in Bridesmaids, because who amongst us wouldn't be tempted to take nine golden retriever puppies from a bridal shower???
Always Fits is a wonderfully quirky small biz based in Massachusetts with a huge selection of cheeky and pop-culture-inspired gifts.
Promising review: "Greatly increases productivity. I absolutely love this sticker. I placed it on my laptop. The first time using my laptop after receiving my sticker, I was able to write a paper for my graduate ethics class and wrote a 12-page paper in two hours. True story!" —Steph
Get it from Always Fits for $4.95.
10. LOLworthy socks that are a huge mood, because they feature the two adjectives that best describe me — and probably you, too, you adorable worrywart.
Promising review: "So I bought these as a gift for someone else, but have other pairs of my own from Blue Q. The quality of this brand of socks is very good, in my opinion. They've been washed, dried, and abused by long days. They still come out clean and ready to go. I liked them so much I purchased a pair as a gift, and she said she really loved the idea of socks with an attitude. Would recommend." —TerryU
Get them from Amazon for $13.99 (also available in 32 other designs).
11. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World, a silly tome for anyone who loves (or, I suppose, hates) birds but is bored by typical field guides. This one is full of NSFW names and descriptions for different species that'll have you LOLing even if you never actually go looking for said birds IRL.
Promising review: "This book was not only hilarious, but also brought back some wonderful memories of summers birdwatching in my front yard with my dad, and all the bird books I borrowed from the library to help identify them. I kinda wish I'd had this book on hand though, because the personality descriptions of some of these birds is spot-on and would have had me rolling! If you're starting a birdwatching journey just for fun, or even just want a quick laugh in between the (not so serious) birdwatching, this is the book for you! It's jam-packed full of snarky facts, and even includes a mini history lesson! I'll have my eyes out for more from this author!" —Jms1662
Get it from Amazon for $8.51+, Barnes & Noble for $10.99+, Always Fits for $15.95, or Bookshop (to support local booksellers) for $14.67.
12. An absolutely iconic handsome Squidward headphone stand for a ~bold and brash~ way to display your prized pair. They deserve better than just being squished like Plankton at the bottom of your bag.
This Boise, Idaho-based shop makes all kinds of epic pop-culture-inspired headphone stands, including custom designs.
Promising review: "This is literally the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. If you are debating buying it JUST DO IT!!! I’m obsessed. 🤩" —Giovanna Lopez
Get it from Slanted Designs on Etsy for $59 (available in two colors).
13. Elizavecca Milky Piggy carbonated bubble clay mask, a top-rated, blackhead-banishing, and just plain F-U-N mask that starts to bubble once you apply it. Even without the skin benefits, it'd be worth it for the LOLworthy selfies.
It has over 5,000 (!!!!) positive reviews and comes with an application spatula, though from my experience it works best if you just use your fingers! After writing about how much Amazon reviewers love this a zillion times, I finally had to try it for myself. It did not disappoint! My mom and I have done it together a couple times and had a blast. While our bubbles didn't get as wild as the reviewer above, you def end up looking totally silly and the bubbles are totally ticklish. And once you wash the mask off??? OMG, you'll be glowing and your pores will be so fresh and so clean. We were super impressed with it, and the amount you get is very generous. One small, under-$10 jar will last you manyyyyyyy applications to come!
Promising review: "Wow! I purchased this on a whim after seeing one of my favorite YouTubers try it out. I didn't expect a lot from it. I tried it out and was shocked!!! The mask was simple (and fun) to use. I wasn't sure I felt a lot happening while it was on, but it was pretty cool how the bubbles started to grow off of my face. Upon inspection after using this mask I was completely amazed. My face felt cleaner than it has in a very long time, AND my pores looked amazing! I don't remember a time when I felt like my pores looked great before using this mask. I would highly recommend this mask to anyone. It's also so much cheaper than the GlamGlow ones I have been using (and didn't see near these results from)." —K. Textor
Get it from Amazon for $8.30.
14. And finally, a wonderfully ridiculous Jeff Goldblum shower curtain that's got The Right Stuff to make you wanna (Jurassic) Park yourself in the shower from now 'til Independence Day. Seriously, this is gonna turn you into The Grandmaster of bathroom decor, because it'll be The Fly-est curtain any of your friends have ever seen.
In conclusion, LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
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