How To Deal With A Breakup Without Losing Your Dignity

Don't reach for that bottle of Pinot and put AWAY YOUR COMPUTER. (It's okay, you've still got your phone. Wait. NO!)

1. Put. Down. The. Bottle.

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You've just been dumped. Right now, sitting alone in a dark room armed with an Adele album and a double bottle of Pinot sounds pretty tempting.

This will lead to a lot of ugly crying (think: Kim Kardashian). Also, that embarrassing end of the bottle text/post/tweet that you will think is a GREAT idea will not make him want to jump back into a relationship with you. Hide your crazy, gurl.

2. PUT. AWAY. ALL. DEVICES.

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Let's take a note from Destiny's Child circa 2001. "I'm not gon diss you on the internet. Cause my mama taught me better than that." Remember the good old days when people would tell their problems to their friends and loved ones or just bottle it up inside like a normal person instead of sharing it with the world on the internet?

3. No Romantic Comedies For You

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Do I really need to break this down for you? No Nicholas Sparks movie's.

4. Don't "Go For A Drive"

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You're not kidding anyone but yourself. Driving past his house at hourly intervals or showing up at his local bar (the one you claimed smelled like a morgue while you were dating) is not helping ANYTHING. You look like a psycho and his neighbors are about to alert the local authorities.

IRL stalking is worse than Facebook stalking. PUT DOWN THE KEYS.

5. Take It To The Shower

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You're knee deep in empty pizza boxes, your legs are as hairy as your Uncle Steve's back, and your hair could start a grease fire. Basically, you look like hell.

Take a shower, shave your legs, and pull yourself together. It's easy to feel like shit when you look like shit.

6. Your Friends Are Not Your Round-The-Clock Therapist

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They've listen to you cry, vent, analyze, overanalyze, cry some more. They are there for you. But they shouldn't have to start screening their calls. Take their advice and appreciate their patience. Then take your feelings to a journal, blog, pet, or maybe even an actual therapist.

7. Go Home.

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If you're lucky enough to live close to your Parents, it might be time to head home. Your Mom has seen you through Ups and Downs, multiple awkward phases, and most likely a handful of relationships. She even loved you when she gave you that bowl cut at age 6. Your Parent's usually have some pretty good (and sane) advice... take it.

Bonus:

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Give Yourself A 24 Hour Grace Period. If You Still Have a Shred Of Dignity Left... Award Yourself A Beverage.