1. Realize that you’re stuck doing the chores they usually do.
3. Sleep like a mad person.
6. Realize how useful your spouse actually is.
8. Eat things only in bowls.
9. Avoid using any actual dishes.
11. Eat the food your spouse is allergic to.
12. Do extremely experimental cooking ideas.
14. Binge-watch the TV shows they don’t like.
15. Stay up way too late binge-watching that show.
16. DELIVERY FOOD.
17. Get EXTREMELY annoyed if you have to wait to watch one of the shows you watch together.
19. Fill your wineglass extra high so you don’t have to get off the couch again.
20. Abuse electricity for the sake of extreme laziness.
22. Do the weird chores that would baffle and annoy your spouse if they saw you.
28. Realize exactly how useful they really are.
29. Frantically clean up an hour before they come home.
- Trump has named H.R. McMaster as his new National Security Adviser, replacing Michael Flynn, who resigned last week.
- Milo Yiannopoulos's book has been canceled after he was accused of defending pedophilia.
- Russian ambassador to the UN Vitaly Churkin has died after suffering from cardiac arrest this morning, a day before his 65th birthday.
- A girl's best friend showed up to her date in a fake mustache to spy on her and it is the definition of friendship goals 😎