29 Things Married People Do When Their Spouse Is Out Of Town
Cereal and booze is a totally well-balanced dinner, right?
1. Realize that you're stuck doing the chores they usually do.
My husband is out of town for weeks & I miss him... just kidding but there is a lot of garbage that needs to go to the end of the driveway.
the tanya@atanya1111Follow
My husband is out of town for weeks & I miss him... just kidding but there is a lot of garbage that needs to go to the end of the driveway.
7:41 AM - 11 Oct 13RetweetFavorite
2. Let the dog sleep in your bed.

3. Sleep like a mad person.
I don't like when my husband is out of town but I don't "not sprawl out across the entire bed" not like it.
OhNoSheTwitnt@OhNoSheTwitntFollow
I don't like when my husband is out of town but I don't "not sprawl out across the entire bed" not like it.
10:29 PM - 31 Mar 13RetweetFavorite
4. Drink in the bathtub.
5. Never close the bathroom door.

6. Realize how useful your spouse actually is.
My husband is out of town so I'm chewing my food carefully because I'm worried I'll choke and die and the cat will eat my face, obviously.
Jennifer@ucancallmejennFollow
My husband is out of town so I'm chewing my food carefully because I'm worried I'll choke and die and the cat will eat my face, obviously.
7:27 PM - 15 Feb 12RetweetFavorite
7. Drink straight from the carton.

8. Eat things only in bowls.
It’s amazing how many meals I eat out of a bowl when my wife is out of town.
Michael Bushong@mbushongFollow
It’s amazing how many meals I eat out of a bowl when my wife is out of town.
10:32 AM - 22 Jun 14RetweetFavorite
9. Avoid using any actual dishes.
You can always tell when my wife is out of town because the cat uses more dishes than I do.
Craig Kuehne@ckuehneFollow
You can always tell when my wife is out of town because the cat uses more dishes than I do.
11:28 AM - 21 Jun 14RetweetFavorite
10. Allow the dishes to pile up until they come home.

11. Eat the food your spouse is allergic to.
*When the wife goes out of town you can eat anything you want for dinner* #GlutenFull #Blessed
Joe Jones@IagreewithjoeFollow
*When the wife goes out of town you can eat anything you want for dinner* #GlutenFull #Blessed
11:47 PM - 15 May 14RetweetFavorite
12. Do extremely experimental cooking ideas.
This is what happens to dinner when the wife goes out of town.
BendPak@BendPakFollow
This is what happens to dinner when the wife goes out of town.
5:51 PM - 29 Jan 14RetweetFavorite
13. Fart everywhere, anytime.
14. Binge-watch the TV shows they don't like.
Wife is out of town and I'm now commencing with season 3 of the wire.
Kombiz Lavasany@kombizFollow
Wife is out of town and I'm now commencing with season 3 of the wire.
6:10 PM - 21 Jun 14RetweetFavorite
15. Stay up way too late binge-watching that show.
Wife goes out of town for one night = Husband stays up until 2am watching 5 consecutive episodes of Breaking Bad.
James Trimble@guvnahjamesFollow
Wife goes out of town for one night = Husband stays up until 2am watching 5 consecutive episodes of Breaking Bad.
6:10 AM - 26 Jan 14RetweetFavorite
16. DELIVERY FOOD.
Wife goes out of town in 10 minutes. Dominos large thin crust with boneless chicken wings ordered in 11 minutes.
Nick Bush@nicknickbushFollow
Wife goes out of town in 10 minutes. Dominos large thin crust with boneless chicken wings ordered in 11 minutes.
11:04 AM - 09 Aug 13RetweetFavorite
17. Get EXTREMELY annoyed if you have to wait to watch one of the shows you watch together.
Of course the husband goes out of town the week of the season finale of Mad Men.
youngna@youngnaFollow
Of course the husband goes out of town the week of the season finale of Mad Men.
10:48 AM - 18 Jun 13RetweetFavorite
18. Sleep with a pile of laundry on the bed.
19. Fill your wineglass extra high so you don't have to get off the couch again.
20. Abuse electricity for the sake of extreme laziness.
This is what happens when the wife goes out of town. #thishappenseverysaturday #FPL I need more devices don't ya think?
Jeff Rider@cloudwranglerFollow
This is what happens when the wife goes out of town. #thishappenseverysaturday #FPL I need more devices don't ya think?
10:22 AM - 15 Sep 12RetweetFavorite
21. Sneak cigarettes.
22. Do the weird chores that would baffle and annoy your spouse if they saw you.
cleaning the oven...Yes, husband is out of town, now the strange chores begin..First the oven then the drawers!
Suzanna Litwin@ZannabananaFollow
cleaning the oven...Yes, husband is out of town, now the strange chores begin..First the oven then the drawers!
8:56 PM - 22 Jun 07RetweetFavorite
23. Eat like a teenager.
24. Obtain fridge status: bachelor.

25. Eat sad single people food.

26. Completely forget how to cook.

27. Seriously, you might get scurvy if they're gone for more than two weeks.

28. Realize exactly how useful they really are.
When my husband goes out of town it's great because I get to catch up on all the loneliness I forgot exists inside of me.
Susan Burke@ThatSusanBurkeFollow
When my husband goes out of town it's great because I get to catch up on all the loneliness I forgot exists inside of me.
7:55 PM - 17 May 14RetweetFavorite