1. The Wing Bowl is an eating competition and it happens at 5:30 in the morning. William Thomas Cain / Getty William Thomas Cain / Getty 2. Bing maps of the city apparently have gaydar: Bing.com / Via reddit.com 3. The streets of this intersection: reddit.com 4. Please observe this deep-fried Twinkie burger from Philly restaurant PYT: Courtosey PYT / Via abcnews.go.com 5. Philly also has a doughnut bun burger. PYT 6. Philadelphians eat something called a Krimpet. WHAT EVEN IS A KRIMPET?!?! Flickr: theimpulsivebuy 7. There is a strange obsession with Wawa iced tea: View this photo on Instagram instagram.com 8. There's a swiss cheese masturbator who was caught repeatedly crankin' off with a chunk of cheese: MAYFAIR TOWN WATCH 9. And this classy gentleman: reddit.com 10. When a pervert tried to expose himself to local high school "Goretti girls," they kicked his ass. neumanngorettihs.org 11. The Philly Phanatic is a pervert. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF reddit.com 12. I mean, WHAT EVEN IS HE???? Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF drawntomlb.com 13. The police are very sassy on Twitter: reddit.com 14. This child wreaks havoc in an empty butcher shop window: reddit.com 15. The native foliage looks like this: reddit.com 16. "Philadelphia" is misspelled on the team's official NFL gear: reddit.com 17. Eagles fans are so rowdy that there was an in-house jail and court inside Veterans Stadium. This is Judge Seamus McCaffery who ruled over Eagles court: The new stadium has better security measures, and doesn't need the court, apparently. 18. This is what happens when two 49ers fans come to an Eagles game: Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com 19. And in 1968, Eagles fans even pelted Santa with snowballs. True story. Watch this little ESPN feature on it — it's really funny. 20. This Phillies fan admitted to purposely vomiting on an 11-year-old girl. Philadelphia Police Department / AP 21. Phillies fans have been known to throw D batteries at players who declined to join their team. waresdirect.com They threw them at J.D. Drew of the Cardinals in 1999 after he chose to go back to the draft. 22. Female Phillies fans attempted to put Ex-Lax into the food of a Giants player they saw at a restaurant. exlax.org Smooth move, Philadephia. Smooth move. 23. The Eagles and the Phillies shared a box of porn that was stashed in Veterans Stadium. Flickr: grumpypants Something kind of gross about sharing porn, right? But former Eagle Hollis Thomas admitted it was true. 24. The word "JAWN." reddit.com 25. Speaking of words that don't make any sense anywhere else, this is a map of where "Mischief Night" is used (in blue): reddit.com 26. Philly has no respect for weathermen: Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Fox TV / Via reddit.com 27. Or police vehicles: reddit.com 28. People dress up like this on New Year's Day: Flickr: aarongstock 29. Some mystery person keeps putting insane "Toynbee tiles" over the city: Flickr: cleanandsolid 30. The Philly mob had its own softball team. HBO This 2000 article about how the team led by George Borgesi (acquitted of racketeering just this year!) was rallying after losing many of its best players to jail is probably the best thing you will read all day. Way better than this, at least. 31. You can get a lawyer who can also pierce your ears: reddit.com 32. Beloved weatherman John Bolaris got hoodwinked by two Russian women into spending $43K at a Miami nightclub. 33. And then his girlfriend took over his Twitter while he slept and offered to share her nudes. Twitter: @johnbolaris Poor guy. 34. There's a whole museum dedicated to gross medical stuff. Flickr: mendrakis The Mutter Museum is super creepy and fascinating and definitely worth visiting. 35. The entire city is actually controlled by cats with laser paws. This is 100% factual. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF giphy.com Many citizens of Philadelphia don't even know it's true due to the mind control beams the cats use. 36. There's a statue of a guy from some boxing movie in front of the fancy art museum: William Thomas Cain / Getty STAY WEIRD, PHILLY!!!!