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36 Reasons Philadelphia May Be The Weirdest City

Love you, Philly, but you're basically the Florida of the North.

1. The Wing Bowl is an eating competition and it happens at 5:30 in the morning.

2. Bing maps of the city apparently have gaydar:

3. The streets of this intersection:

4. Please observe this deep-fried Twinkie burger from Philly restaurant PYT:

5. Philly also has a doughnut bun burger.

6. Philadelphians eat something called a Krimpet. WHAT EVEN IS A KRIMPET?!?!

7. There is a strange obsession with Wawa iced tea:

8. There's a swiss cheese masturbator who was caught repeatedly crankin' off with a chunk of cheese:

9. And this classy gentleman:

10. When a pervert tried to expose himself to local high school "Goretti girls," they kicked his ass.

11. The Philly Phanatic is a pervert.

12. I mean, WHAT EVEN IS HE????

13. The police are very sassy on Twitter:

14. This child wreaks havoc in an empty butcher shop window:

15. The native foliage looks like this:

16. "Philadelphia" is misspelled on the team's official NFL gear:

17. Eagles fans are so rowdy that there was an in-house jail and court inside Veterans Stadium. This is Judge Seamus McCaffery who ruled over Eagles court:

18. This is what happens when two 49ers fans come to an Eagles game:

19. And in 1968, Eagles fans even pelted Santa with snowballs.

20. This Phillies fan admitted to purposely vomiting on an 11-year-old girl.

21. Phillies fans have been known to throw D batteries at players who declined to join their team.

22. Female Phillies fans attempted to put Ex-Lax into the food of a Giants player they saw at a restaurant.

23. The Eagles and the Phillies shared a box of porn that was stashed in Veterans Stadium.

24. The word "JAWN."

25. Speaking of words that don't make any sense anywhere else, this is a map of where "Mischief Night" is used (in blue):

26. Philly has no respect for weathermen:

27. Or police vehicles:

28. People dress up like this on New Year's Day:

29. Some mystery person keeps putting insane "Toynbee tiles" over the city:

30. The Philly mob had its own softball team.

31. You can get a lawyer who can also pierce your ears:

32. Beloved weatherman John Bolaris got hoodwinked by two Russian women into spending $43K at a Miami nightclub.

33. And then his girlfriend took over his Twitter while he slept and offered to share her nudes.

34. There's a whole museum dedicated to gross medical stuff.

35. The entire city is actually controlled by cats with laser paws. This is 100% factual.

36. There's a statue of a guy from some boxing movie in front of the fancy art museum: