21 Foods That Should Not Be Minions And Yet Here We Are
In six months, there will be no food left on Earth that isn't Minions branded. Humanity is doomed; there is no choice but to fill yourself with them.
If you haven't noticed, Minions are making humans lose their damn minds.
There is no option left. You must submit to the Minions-branded foods. They have taken over everything. The only option left is to consume them. You must put them INSIDE you.
1. With these Twinkies.
2. In a Happy Meal.
4. Ice pop.
5. As McDonald's fries (also, how DARE you mess with perfection, Minions?).
6. A soda at the movie theater.
7. Poppin' some Pez.
8. An ice cream cone.
9. Apple juice.
10. Graham-cracker snacks.
13. Cookies that even your cat won't eat.
14. In your Cheese Nips.
15. With delicious mac 'n' cheese.
16. With THEIR OWN GODDAMN CEREAL. Not even some real cereal that's just Minion branded, but a whole new cereal that the food scientists had to test out and create in the General Mills test kitchens.
17. With a kawaii sushi ball.
18. POP THEM. POP THOSE MINION TIC TACS INTO YOUR GULLET.
19. Homemade Minion cupcakes.
20. No. No. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
21. But if you don't want to get a Minion inside you any of those ways, there's always:
The friend Minion-shaped objects in No. 5 are McDonald's fries. An earlier version of this post misidentified them as McNuggets.