Foodie Friday is trending again, and your ready-to-eat avocados are sitting smugly on the side. They’d be perfect for this week’s post, but the judgement on the gram is real. You don’t want to buy sourdough for the tenth week running but you’re out of ideas. What can you put them with and still retain your down to earth social media persona without straying into dangerous territory? Read on for a few culinary ideas that’ll potentially lose you followers but otherwise solve all your problems.
1. Tesco All Bran
Sitting down to breakfast (NOT BRUNCH, NEVER BRUNCH) with a big bowl of bran topped with chunks of avocado treads a clever line between ‘I’m getting my daily fibre intake’ and ‘I can’t afford the Kelloggs stuff because I spent all my money on avocados’.
2. Batter
Deep-fried avocado is instantly more questionable than avocado on toast. No one will even know there’s avocado under all that glistening fat. And woke millenials wouldn’t possibly eat glistening fat. Everyone wins.
3. Actual Smash
As in the packet mashed potato your nan’s got endless boxes of in her cupboard. Mix it all together for green mash, or use the Smash as a soft fluffy bed for your avocado slices*. Either way, hello low budget smashed avocado. You’re welcome.
*Take care not to slice it too precisely. Don’t want it to look like you made an effort.
4. Ketchup
Nothing says six-year-old like requesting ketchup with every meal. Eveyone’ll be so disgusted they won’t even notice what you’re dipping in it.
5. Gin
Not in any kind of aesthetically pleasing way, just chop it up and bung it in. The likelihood is that it’ll disintegrate upon immediate contact with the alcohol (not unlike a recyclable straw) and then you’ve got a sludgy drink that screams weirdly alternative rather than bougie. Problem solved.