Across this great nation, a little-known war has raged, passive-aggressively, for decades.
Here is a visual breakdown of this hostile divide.
Duck, Duck, Goose's inferiority is self-explanatory, but I am going to explain to you why it is so inferior.
By contrast, look at these three birds.
Let these sexy-angry ladies tell you, again, why Duck, Duck, Goose is for chumps.
DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE IS TOO EASY. THE SECOND YOU HEAR A G-SOUND YOU ARE UP AND RUNNING BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT WORD IS GOING TO BE "GOOSE."
This makes it way, way too easy to win. Do you want your children feeling so easily self-satisfied? Proud? Confident in their ability to succeed not only in playground games, but in life itself?
No, you do not.