What It's Like Having No Sense Of Direction

    OK, stop saying "go east" like that means something to me.

    Ugh. You're totally lost again.

    You're here (A). You need to be HERE (B).

    You're probably going to be late, and your friends/family/loved ones will be annoyed. WTF happened?

    You're bad at directions. Like, really bad.

    You've tried to explain it.

    But it's clear that they — those people with the mystery gift for somehow just knowing where "northwest" is — clearly don't understand.

    THIS, you say, is the only North West you can identify.

    But still, someone gave you verbal directions. And you tried to understand, you really did.

    Them: "So then head south for eight blocks, then go east on Riverside." You:

    Eventually you gave up. "I'll just Google Map it," you said.

    But most maps, to you, look more or less like this.

    It starts off ok, but soon you'll have to turn. Turns are just opportunities to go the wrong way, when you really think about it.

    This ... does not look right.

    Haha, whoops, let's just turn around really quick.

    Oh, there's your street again.

    No you are NOT going to cry because you can't find a restaurant. It has just been a very weirdly long allergy season.

    You might call a friend and admit defeat.

    "Are you serious? You're like three blocks away." - your so-called friend

    You must try to remain calm.

    Explain that you do not work in norths and souths. You work in lefts and rights.

    Eventually, you WILL get where you're trying to go.

    And your loved ones might not understand how stupidly difficult it was to get here, to this Olive Garden Family Restaurant. But we feel you.