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21 Signs You Used To Work Retail

*Casually neatens pile of sweaters*

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1. You feel a deep, sorrowful pity each time you walk into a fitting room and see this:

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(And #blessed you no longer have to pick it up.)

2. And when you try on clothes with friends, you make them put *everything* back.

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3. Your multitasking skills are unmatched.

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4. You'll never walk into a store 10 minutes before close ever again.

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5. A perfectly neat and correctly sized wall display gives you a small, tingly pleasure.

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6. And if you see this in a store while you're shopping, you're straightening it up.

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You might not work here anymore but you can't help yourself.

7. You know exactly what to say to politely — but firmly — turn down the store's credit card offer.

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You know alllllll the tricks in that book.

8. You can tolerate standing on your feet for much, much longer than most people.

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(Until you can't.)

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9. And you can take a power nap pretty much anywhere.

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10. You always take hangers off the clothes you want to buy before handing them to the cashier.

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Just to make it a liiiittle easier.

11. You're horrified every time you hear a customer berate a cashier in front of a long line.

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12. Sometimes you wake up way too early from phantom missed alarms.

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Is it holiday sale day????? ... Wait.

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13. Your booze tolerance has yet to drop back to average human levels.

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14. You can quickly calculate what your purchases would have cost you if you still had that employee discount ...

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... and it breaks your heart a little you don't still have it.

15. You still get periodic cravings for the mall food you ate on breaks.

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16. If you try to say something nice to a current retail worker and they're not having it, you feel personally betrayed.

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Don't you know I'm ON YOUR TEAM?

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17. You miss your label gun a little bit.

18. You can fake-cheerfully greet ANYONE under ANY circumstances.

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19. You have a name tag stockpile at the bottom of a drawer somewhere.

Cleaning up my car and I think I "lost my name tag" more than one too many times #RetailProblems

Rodrigo Gomez@ItsRodrigoGomezFollow

Cleaning up my car and I think I "lost my name tag" more than one too many times #RetailProblems

10:51 AM - 05 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

20. You'll never ever ever ever do Black Friday again. Ever.

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21. And you can still (kind of! a little!) miss the giddy camaraderie of all-night inventory shifts.

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