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A Wimp's Guide To Killing Spiders (And Other Unwanted Pests)

Here is your fully laid out plan of action, free of charge!

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ALRIGHT, NOW THAT YOU'VE CALMED DOWN, LETS GET TO IT!

IF POLITELY ASKING THE PEST TO VACATE THE PREMISES OF YOUR ROOM HASN'T WORKED, THEN YOU NEED TO MOVE ONTO PLAN HAIRSPRAY.

Boys, if you do not own hairspray, simply walk into your sister's or mother's bathroom and you'll be sure to find some. Actually, Febreeze works too!

NOW THAT YOU HAVE YOUR HAIRSPRAY (OR FEBREEZE), WALK CONFIDENTLY UP TO THE LITTLE BUGGER AND LET 'ER RIP! SPRAY LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SPRAYED BEFORE!!!

NOTE: The pest will most likely try to scurry away from the toxic fumes you are directing at it, meaning you must chase it and prevent it from going into any cracks or crevices in your room! Or, if you come at it from the ceiling, try to avoid having the insect fall on your face.

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SO OPEN ALL YOUR WINDOWS AND LET THE PLACE AIR OUT. MAYBE EVEN STICK YOUR HEAD OUT A WINDOW TO GET SOME IMMEDIATE FRESH AIR.

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