The 11 Stupidest Things Said (or Written) In 2011

The 2011 winners of the annual Stupidest Things Ever Said Award ...

1. The Stupidest and Extraordinarily Insightful Art Commentary of 2011

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“I liked the statue of David. He was hot, and his wiener’s out, and he has a nice butt.”

—Jersey Shore star Snooki talking about Michelangelo’s David (video)

2. The Stupidest Headline of 2011, Inadvertent Sexual Imagery Division

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Girls’ school still offering “something special” — head

—headline, Gloucestershire Echo

3. The Stupidest National Anthem Rendering of 2011, Inadvertent Sexual Imagery Division

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"What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last reaming..."

— singer Christina Aguilera at the Super Bowl (the right words were: "O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.”) (video)

4. The Stupidest Example of a Politician Showing off her Historical Knowledge in 2011

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"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."

—Sarah Palin, on Paul Revere's midnight ride (video)

5. The Stupidest Anti-Gay Marriage Metaphor of 2011

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"It’s like in golf. A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."

—businessman Donald Trump explaining why he was against gay marriage

6. The Stupidest Least Literary Line of 2011 (or “Why We Stopped Reading The End of Sparta Pretty Quickly”)

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"Odd that the Theban knew of Neto and his son’s wife Damo, and of Chion and apparently Sturax and Porpax too, but at least not Gorgos as well."

— from the novel The End of Sparta, by Victor Davis Hanson

7. The Stupidest Overstretching the Point Moment in 2011

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"I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet."

— Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez in a speech for World Water Day (video)

8. The Stupidest Excuse for Having an Extra-Marital Affair of 2011

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"There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate . . ."

—presidential candidate Newt Gingrich explaining how his patriotism led him to have an affair (video)

9. The Stupidest Live On-Air Moment of Rhetorical Brilliance of 2011

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"Tonight is the measure of whether the country begins in the state of Wisconsin a national drive to push back or whether we have more to go to build a movement of resistance. But resist we much. We must and we will much . . ."

— MSNBC host Al Sharpton on the Wisconsin recall elections (video)

10. The Stupidest Live Debate Moment of Rhetorical Brilliance of 2011

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"The third agency of government I would do away with – education, uh the, commerce, and let’s see, I can’t. The third one I can’t. Sorry. Oops."

— presidential candidate Rick Perry (video)

11. The Stupidest Fascinating New Use of a Verb of 2011, Sports Division

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"We don't dwindle on the past."

— Cardinals QB John Skelton