Recently, Reddit user u/ZeuslovesHer posed the question, "Is 'pretty privilege' real and what is your experience with it?" and people rushed to the comments to share their thoughts.
Here's what they had to say:
1. "My attractive coworker and I were stopped on the same day, by the same trooper, for speeding. I'm a fugly dude, she's a 10/10 knockout. I was doing 81 mph in a 70 zone and got a ticket. She was doing 86 mph in a 70 zone and the trooper gave her a warning."
2. "The summer before my junior year, I lost a ton of weight and when everyone saw me, I was 40 pounds lighter than the previous year. I started getting more friends, teachers started talking to me more, girls were starting to notice me, etc. Then I joined the Navy, gained maybe 20 pounds, and boom it was back to square one, no longer the guy everyone always wanted to be around."
3. "Nightlife (bartending, etc.) is good money, and they don’t hire people who are not at the very least conventionally attractive. I’ve been tipped generously many times simply because customers thought I was pretty. Mostly by gay men and straight women."
4. "I’ve worked at several universities, and the better the school, the more attractive the student body. I assume this is because attractive people get extra attention and help from an early age. They expect and are expected to succeed early on."
5. "When I used to live in LA, people often thought I was a model/actress and I typically found it to be a super fun, friendly city. I was in LA visiting family while pregnant and got acne for the first time since I was 14. People were so much less friendly, then got more friendly again only once my bump was clear. It was like all the nice people in LA reappeared."
6. "You get more matches on Tinder, you’re more approachable, and you have easier access making friends. They can be superficial friendships, but friendships nevertheless."
7. "I was a very unattractive teenager and the world felt like a very harsh place. Some people are openly rude to you if they don’t find you good looking. As I did grow into my looks and became reasonably good looking, boy did the world open up. People, mostly men, became so much nicer to me and just much more accommodating. Pretty privilege is very, very real, having been on both sides."
8. "It's really fucking hard to do any successful therapy because of pretty privilege. I have BPD and because of it, I have done and said some pretty fucked up stuff. What is the response? Nothing that serious because I'm a cute and young-looking woman."
9. "I knew a girl who was a hostess at an 'upscale' restaurant. Her manager told her if any girls come in with a resume for a job, if they are unattractive/overweight to mark '110' on the top right of the paper. If you draw a diagonal line between the two ones, you are spelling out 'NO.'"
10. "Among cultures where I fit into society's idea of beauty, people just give me stuff for no reason: upgrades on flights, meals paid for, etc. In areas where my look is not considered beautiful, I have literally been denied entry into a club."
"I have deep, dark brown skin and stereotypically West African features. I was bullied pretty relentlessly throughout childhood, but that never really stopped me from liking my look. I'm sure there is some element of this in many countries, but due to an especially narrow definition of beauty in the United States, it seems more pronounced."
11. "As a trans woman, I gotta say that it is real. Depressingly so. Even if people know I’m trans, they are generally pretty nice to me in real life. You can totally see this in how society views what is a 'successful' transition. The trans women who are deemed to represent what it means to be trans are almost always not just cis passing, but totally conventionally attractive. The trans women who don’t fit neatly into those categories get stereotyped as 'failures.'"
12. "I was in line for ice cream with a pretty senior in front of me and the ice cream vendor was like, 'You don't need to pay, it's free for you.' Then it was my turn and they were like, 'Oh, she's the only one who'll get a free ice cream.'"
13. "I was born with a facial deformity and have since had multiple (10+) procedures to fix it. Growing up, people would literally stare at me, walk to the other side of the street, openly laugh, etc. At 12, I was at the mall with a friend and one of those childhood modeling services ran over and started praising my friend, looked at me, then went, 'But you're both beautiful in your own ways.' Now 21, apparently I've had enough work done that people are able to look at me because everyone is nicer, takes me seriously, and I get free drinks when I go out. Yep. People definitely treat you differently when they think you're attractive."
15. And "When I was in high school, I was not attractive, so my personality was seen negatively because I'm 'weird.' I had a bit of a glow-up the summer after graduating, and now I'm 'quirky,' 'interesting,' and 'passionate.'"
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.