1. You reliably nick yourself every time your shave.
3. You do not know what to do with this:
4. Or this:
5. DEAR GOD.
6. Ninety percent of your mascara gets on your eyelashes. The other 10% gets on your upper eyelid.
7. When you’re wearing blush you feel like a CLOWN.
8. You can’t remember the last time you painted your nails.
9. But the last time you did paint them, they looked something like this:
12. Clutches will never be anything but ridiculous-looking wallets for GIANTS.
24. Attitude toward shoes: apathy.
OK right, because women gaze admiringly and literally HUG their computers when they online shop.
25. Attitude toward bags: apathy.
26. Which is why ads that depict women as clothing- and shopping-crazed INFURIATE you.
27. And ads that perpetuate the (very false) idea that women (but never men, of course) are supposed to be weight- and diet-obsessed.
HOW DID THIS COMMERCIAL EVER EVEN AIR?
28. So essentially every Yoplait, Special K, and Progresso commercial EVER MADE.
And probably all made by men.
32. Bra logic.
And probably the worst part of it all…
40. You can’t relate to this Chaka Khan song.
- The Clinton campaign is trying to stop television stations from running a pro-Trump ad featuring Michelle Obama.
- A federal jury cleared the leaders of an Oregon standoff. The militia group took over a wildlife refuge last January.
- Countries from around the world have agreed that the Ross Sea in Antarctica will become the world's largest marine protected area.
- RIP — Vine says it's discontinuing its mobile app, effectively ending the 6-second video service 💀