14 Mysteries Of The Modern World...
Because some things defy the ways of the world.
1. Why a Nandos half chicken and two sides costs less than a cinema ticket? I mean, I can eat chicken and indulge in not one, but two different forms of carbohydrates, cheaper than I can watch The Hunger Games (and yes, the irony is not lost on me there).
2. People who are not vegetarian, but order a vegetarian meal at a restaurant. Do they ever question their existence?
3. Justin Timberlake’s N*Sync hair…
4. Long uneccesary job titles. 'Dilettante hypercritical deplorer of incipient trends' (or ‘amateur moaner’ for short)
5. Night clubs that offer lollipops. In the toilets. To people who are not children.
6. Incorrect Instagram hashtags. I came to look at pictures of pugs but have somehow ended up on a picture of a gentleman, from Turkey called Asraf, doing yoga…
7. People who sleep on the tube. How these people are not crippled by the fear that they might miss their station is beyond my ability to even contemplate.
8. The cold side of the pillow. Like a fleeting summer fling: so satisfying and yet so temporary.
9. That person who says they LOVE exercise without any hint of sarcasm. At all.
10. Baked beans. Or as I like to call them ‘the perfect way to ruin my fry-up’.
11. Crocs
12. The Atkins Diet. Why anyone want to remove the food equivalent of Beyonce from their diet is beyond me? I’m 'Dangerously in Love' with carbs (see what I did there?)
13. And speaking of food… raisins in a curry. I don’t know which person came up with this idea but I can only assume it was some sick joke that has gone horribly wrong.
14. Why all the ‘house’ programmes (e.g. ‘Homes under the hammer’) are the only thing that is on daytime TV? Are people who watch daytime TV in constant need of a house? Is it just estate agents and property developers watching television at 11am? Do people watching telly at this time just really love houses?
I guess some things we’ll never know..
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