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People Are Sharing The Rules Their Pets Have Implemented In Their House, And They're Hilarious And Purrfect

"She needs me to watch her poop."

If you've ever owned an animal, you know that sometimes it's difficult to tell who's really in charge: you or your pet?

So when Reddit user dlordjr asked "What 'rule' has your pet instituted in your house that you now follow?", tons of people offered up examples of their pets' bossy behaviors. Their answers will probably make you want to go adopt an animal IMMEDIATELY.

Here are some of the funniest and most adorable answers:

1. "If my parrot asks, 'What are you doing?', anyone in the immediate vicinity must respond with what they're doing."

"He will throw a tantrum if he doesn't get an answer."


2. "If my dog stands in front of you, looks back, and puts her butt near you, you must smack the booty."


3. "When my 14-year-old grandma kitty is constipated, she needs me to watch her poop."

"She'll do these real deep meows and won't stop until I follow her to the litter box where she sits in the middle and tries to poop. We keep eye contact the entire time. If I look away, she stops trying to poop and does the deep meows again."


4. "If he gives you the 'sparkly eyes,' you must chase him, call his name and clap loudly so he can run around like a speed demon. The clapping is mandatory."


5. "No closed doors. She screams at any door which blocks her path inside the house."


6. "One of our cats likes to be the one to wake my stepdaughter up for school every morning."

"We have a routine: I get up and go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and hair, and then go let Kiki into my stepdaughter's room. She runs to her bed and lays down on top of her, nuzzles around for her face and nibbles on her eyebrows to wake her up. We have to do this every morning."


7. "My lorikeet needs a scritch before bed time, my caique needs a kiss and a whistling duet, and my Cockatiels decode when bedtime is for everyone and will not stop chirping until the lights are out."

"In the morning, they all scream their heads off until we get out of bed and go into the room they are in. "


8. "We call it 'paying the toll.' Our doxie will instantly steal your spot if you get up to go to the bathroom or something, and she won't move until you've sufficiently rubbed the belly. So to get your seat back, you have to pay the toll!"


9. "Our idiot cat, Potato, is a spoiled princess who won’t eat her food unless someone picks her up and gently sets her in front of her bowl."

"My boyfriend encourages and enables this behavior, to the point where now, if you put food in her dish, she won’t even look at it unless she’s carried over."


10. "When brushing my teeth, I must leave the faucet on while I brush so my cat can drink from the bathroom sink."

"If I don't, I get screamed at in the form of very loud meows."


11. "If Gizmo places his paw gently upon human's foot, human must pick him up. If human does not pick him up, Gizmo is allowed to bite big toe."


12. "My girlfriend's dog has to be let out in the morning to go, and then again 45 minutes later to take a shit."

"She is incapable of doing them at the same time."


13. "Whenever someone gets ice cubes from the fridge, they have to give one to my kitten to play with."

"He bolts towards the fridge any time he hears the ice dispenser because he's so stoked about getting another ice cube."


14. "No shoes on hardwood or tile floors. It scares the baby snakes."


15. "If my Maine coon stares at you silently, he must he picked up and held or you WILL be tripped the moment you try to walk."


16. "If I sneeze, my cat will meow softly and walk over to me and pat me on my face until I pick him up and tell him don't worry, it was only a sneeze."


17. "My Russian tortoise needs to be fed every morning by 9:30. If I don't wake up by then, he'll scratch his wooden house very loudly and obnoxiously until he sees or hears me getting up from bed."


18. "There is no truer love than that of a grumpy man and the dog he said he didn't want. So every day, at exactly 4 p.m., my dog lets my dad know that it's time for walkies. Off they trundle to the local dog park, where my dog has her little doggie play dates."

"I have to wait to be picked up after my dog has her walk and play date with her other dog friends. My dog has a better social life than I do."


Note: responses have been edited for length and clarity.

What rules have your pets implemented in your household? Let us know in the comments below!