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Let's Talk About How Disgusting Olives Are

They destroy everything they touch.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who know that olives are gross, and psychopaths.

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No matter what color the olive is, they all come in the same flavour: rancid salty booty.

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And their revolting juices contaminate any food they come in contact with.

Francisco Martins/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: betta_design

There is nothing more tragic than ordering a big plate of nachos, only to realize you didn't specify "no olives," so now you can't eat the nachos.

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You shouldn't ruin a perfectly good martini with a single olive.

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And you definitely shouldn't ruin a martini with a BUNCH damned olives and some FREAKING OLIVE JUICE. Ughhhhh.

Getting a salad and then realizing that there are olives in it is a day-ruining experience.

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So is opening your Subway sandwich only to discover that a lone olive has destroyed the entire thing.

Why is olive loaf a thing? Why would you do that to bread?!

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Pizza with olives on it is the worst, because you can't pick the olives off. They're already baked into the cheese.

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(And even if you DO somehow pick off the olives, the disgusting olive taste has ALREADY PERMEATED THE REST OF THE PIZZA.)

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Don't even get me started on olive tapenade. Oh yeah, let's mush all the olives together so we can spread the taste of Satan's salty armpits across all the good-tasting food!

esimpraim/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: dishingupdelights

"But my oil is good for you!" Olives, you're not fooling anybody.

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So, in conclusion, olives are definitely the worst.

Lynn Friedman / Via Flickr: lynnfriedman

Death to olives. 💀

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