Let’s Talk About How Disgusting Olives Are

They destroy everything they touch.

1. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who know that olives are gross, and fucking psychopaths.

Dan Hodgett/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: danhodgett

2. No matter what color the olive is, they all come in the same flavour: rancid salty ass.

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3. And their revolting juices contaminate any food they come in contact with.

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4. There is nothing more tragic than ordering a big plate of nachos, only to realize you didn’t specify “no olives,” so now you can’t eat the nachos.

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5. You shouldn’t ruin a perfectly good martini with a single olive.

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6. And you definitely shouldn’t ruin a martini with a BUNCH of goddamned olives and some MOTHERFUCKING OLIVE JUICE. Ughhhhh.

7. Getting a salad and then realizing that there are olives in it is a day-ruining experience.

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8. So is opening your Subway sandwich only to discover that a lone olive has destroyed the entire thing.

9. Why is olive loaf a thing? Why would you do that to bread?!

miscdebris/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: miscdebris

10. Pizza with olives on it is the worst, because you can’t pick the olives off. They’re already baked into the cheese.

dippy_duck/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: dippy_duck

11. (And even if you DO somehow pick off the olives, the disgusting olive taste has ALREADY PERMEATED THE REST OF THE PIZZA.)

TBS / Via giphy.com

12. Don’t even get me started on olive tapenade. Oh yeah, let’s mush all the olives together so we can spread the taste of Satan’s salty asshole across all the good-tasting food!

esimpraim/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: dishingupdelights

13. “But my oil is good for you!” Fuck off, olives, you’re not fooling anybody.

LexnGer/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: lexnger

14. So, in conclusion, olives are definitely the worst.

Lynn Friedman / Via Flickr: lynnfriedman

15. Death to olives.

Stacy Anderson / Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: stacyanderson

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