Skip To Content
  • WTF badge

Let's Talk About How Disgusting Olives Are

They destroy everything they touch.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who know that olives are gross, and psychopaths.

No matter what color the olive is, they all come in the same flavour: rancid salty booty.

And their revolting juices contaminate any food they come in contact with.

There is nothing more tragic than ordering a big plate of nachos, only to realize you didn't specify "no olives," so now you can't eat the nachos.

You shouldn't ruin a perfectly good martini with a single olive.

And you definitely shouldn't ruin a martini with a BUNCH damned olives and some FREAKING OLIVE JUICE. Ughhhhh.

Getting a salad and then realizing that there are olives in it is a day-ruining experience.

So is opening your Subway sandwich only to discover that a lone olive has destroyed the entire thing.

Why is olive loaf a thing? Why would you do that to bread?!

Pizza with olives on it is the worst, because you can't pick the olives off. They're already baked into the cheese.

(And even if you DO somehow pick off the olives, the disgusting olive taste has ALREADY PERMEATED THE REST OF THE PIZZA.)

Don't even get me started on olive tapenade. Oh yeah, let's mush all the olives together so we can spread the taste of Satan's salty armpits across all the good-tasting food!

"But my oil is good for you!" Olives, you're not fooling anybody.

So, in conclusion, olives are definitely the worst.

Death to olives. 💀