1. On accepting reality:
"Dogs are assholes" DOG PERSON: YOU'RE an asshole! "Cats are assholes" CAT PERSON: Yeah
2. On people:
HER: so are you a cat person or a dog person? ME: actually I’m a person person HER: ME: HER: ME: *leans in* I’m person af
3. On first dates:
"so are you more of a cat person or a dog person" how dare you make me choose. how dare you. this date is over and i'm calling the police
4. On expectations:
dog people: i like dogs cat people: i like cats swamp people: i like swamps. oh u must hav thougt i woud be a literal swamp monster but no,
5. On betrayal:
ME: I can be a dog person AND a cat person DOG: [throwing clothes off the balcony at me] LIKE HELL YOU CAN
6. On coworkers:
i will never forget when i asked the boy at my work if he was a cat or dog person and he just looked at me and went 'i like snakes'
7. On judgments:
CAT PERSON: My cat Is like a dog DOG PERSON: 😤 DOG PERSON: My dogs are my kids ACTUAL PARENT: 😤 ALIEN: None of this matters *kills us all*
8. On love and hate:
HIM: I'm a dog person HER: I'm a cat person DOG: I love everyone CAT: I hate everyone
9. On missed opportunities:
What idiot called them dog people and cat people instead of Repuplicans and Democats
10. On disappointment:
I hate when someone describes themselves as "a cat-person" or "a dog-person" and then you meet them and they're just regular humans.
11. On outer space:
are you a cat person? are you a dog person? are you a PSYCHIC SPACE LOBSTER PERSON.......YES YOU ARE THE PSYCHIC SPACE LOBSTER KNOWS ALL
12. On cognitive dissonance:
"Cat people are the worst" she said, kissing her dog on the mouth
13. On similarities:
The only similarity between "dog people" and "cat people" is neither want to associate with me.
14. On compromises:
15. On Star Wars:
Dog people liked Luke. Cat people liked Han.
16. On children:
Telling someone "it's just a cat it's not like it's a dog" is like saying "it's just your daughter it's not like it's your son."
17. On preferential treatment:
Me petting your cat: he's cute You: I have a dog too, his name's Leo Me throwing your cat out the window: here Leo
18. And on stereotypes:
Cat people - "cats are easier to look after" Dog people - "dogs are loyal" Fire Ant people - "my skin is burning. Where are my children"