1.
Me ollying up to our wedding
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[inventing wedding dresses] a massive skirt! more skirt! MORE now, put a skirt over her face! god ya that’s the stuff
3.
just when I thought I found a great and affordable wedding venue, a reviewer casually drops this:
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Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall
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Bride: I want my wedding to be elegant Me, working as a wedding planner: Oh, it's gonna be elegant af
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[WEDDING] ME: I do. PRIEST: Could you say it again without the air quotes?
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Give a man some jam and he can enjoy a nice piece of toast. Teach a man to jam and his Phish cover band will ruin your wedding.
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*at my Twitter wedding* Officiant: I now pronounce you It Us
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[phone w/ fiancé] Hey, I can still pick whatever suit I like for the wedding right? "As long as its black, why?" *wearing batsuit* No reason
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[2060] "Do you take this bae to be your lawfully wedded fam?" [smiling through tears] one hundred emoji "I now pronounce you squad goals"
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future husband, @ our wedding: isn't this the best day of your life? me, thinking of the day I first heard Everytime We Touch: it's up there
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JUDGE: You're charged with stealing penguins from the zoo. ME: *lips right on mic* I needed groomsmen for my wedding, your Honor.
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when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go
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Welcome to my rustic wedding, eat these twigs bitch
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*At my future wedding*: "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband" Me to the groupchat: omg do I say yes or is that desperate
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The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
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Planning a wedding is like
18.
"Remember that thing you had fun at? Well guess what: you looked like shit the whole time." - wedding photos
19.
A wedding guest list is the single most political thing you will ever do unless you become the President of the United States of America.