Smokey Bear just turned 70, and he's not having any of your shenanigans.

Advertising Council / Via youtube.com
Are those...candles?
He's come a long way since he masqueraded as a woman.

Department of Agriculture / Forest Service / Via research.archives.gov
And made you feel sexually confused.
Happy birthday, old guy!
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Curmudgeon or sticking to his convictions? You decide.