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29 Things That Are Definitely NOT Penises

Just a bunch of ordinary old photos. Why? What are you seeing?

1. Hey! Cool rims.

2. Whoops! How did that happen?

3. Huh. I've never seen a drink like that before. What do you call that?

4. Um, you really shouldn't have that out while you're chopping stuff.

5. I'll give you two some privacy.

6. I bet that's the last time she ever wears that dress!

7. Take it nice and easy on this hole. Definitely don't hit the ball too hard.

8. Aww. What a lovely decoration. Why is everyone laughing?

9. That dude can go to the bathroom wherever he damn well pleases.

10. Oh! What a lovely...mermaid?

11. Scandinavia: The throbbing tip of Europe.

12. Nature is so beautiful.

13. A perfect picture for the family album.

14. Oh no! Looks like you fell asleep on a...watch.

15. Whoa! Malaysia seems like a fun place.

16. Oh, how sweet! A bike light in the shape of a heart.

17. *Breathes in deeply* Ahh! What a fresh scent.

18. Is that office chair good for your posture?

19. This wine is perfect for ~after dinner~.

20. Leave your mark everywhere you step.

21. Looks like someone is excited to eat their vegetables.

22. She just can't figure out why nobody will swipe right on her profile.

23. Aw! What a cute little...puppy.

24. Ever wonder what a man's head looks like when photographed from directly below the neck?

25. Oh, no thank you. I'm absolutely stuffed.

26. Well, that's certainly an interesting placement for an inflation nozzle on a balloon.

27. Ever go digging around in someone's dresser and find their inside-out sock?

28. It's like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Breathtaking.

29. I CANNOT WAIT for Christmas.