If you haven't heard yet, Apple announced today that the next iPhone would not have a standard headphone jack.
Instead, Apple wants you to use the Lightning Earpods that ship with the iPhone, or a $159 pair of wireless AirPods.
Which means that the next generation of iPhone users will never have to worry about headphones ever again! Here are just a few of the struggles they'll no longer endure:
1. Never again will they leave their headphones unattended for a moment just to come back to find them saying, "Fuck you."
2. Or put them in their pockets just to pull out an unworkable, tangled mess a few minutes later.
3. The next generation will never understand the frustration of having to extract their car keys from their headphones before they go anywhere.
4. And they'll have no idea how much of a suicide mission it was to place more than one pair of headphones in the same drawer together.
5. Untangling the knots sometimes required delicate surgery. "Pass me the scalpel... OR THE GARDEN SHEARS." NO LONGER!
6. Headphones were capable of feats of physics that nobody had time for. Impressive, but not helpful.
7. Wow! I'm not even sure how this is possible!
8. And those evil beasts could be awfully clingy.
9. Especially at the gym.
10. And selfies of the future will never again be plagued by an obtrusive, tangled mess in the foreground. Let your faces shine bright, children of tomorrow!
tangled headphones ruined this ://
11. Even though the tangles could, at times, be almost elegant...
12. ...they were mostly an absolute nightmare to deal with. So good riddance, headphones.
13. May the children of tomorrow never have to experience horrors like this ever again!
