32 Signs You Grew Up In Ealing

You can take the kid out of Ealing, but you can’t take the Ealing outta the Kid.

1. You know red back isn’t just a deadly spider but was a place to damage your liver, listen to awful cover bands and vomit profusely on cheap alcohol served by mildly hot aussies.

2. You have saved thousands of pounds in travel thanks to the handy 207 bendy bus.

3. Every year you base your holiday dates around the Jazz festival although you’ve never watched a single band at it.

4. And have said “If they raise the entry to the Jazz Fest again next year, I’m boycotting it” but never bother.

5. Pffft. You know it will always REALLY be Finnegans.

6. And talking of Finnegans, you probably had an early sexual experience in this room. And if you haven’t had one, you’ve most certainly witnessed a mate, having one.

7. Depressingly, you have a sneaking suspicion you’ll never have that much fun in a pub again. Drinking just isn’t as fun when it’s legal.

8. You can locate rape alley on a map.

9. You’ve had a parent drive down to and angrily retrieve you from one of the following of Ealing’s open spaces (delete as appropriate); the green / ditch / pitshanger / culmington park / the reservoir.

10. You learnt your kissing and / or mugging technique here:

11. You supported the petition for a skate park for years, but never actually thought they’d build one. Now they finally have you’re too old. This is an injustice you live with everyday.

12. In your day, this car park was sufficient as a skate park.

13. Talking of round the back of the EB Centre, you always wondered what the ‘non climb paint’ was at that primary school.

14. You’ve done this. Countless times.

15. You know that the Cricket Club Fireworks are best enjoyed from the outside.

16. The Drayton. Christmas Eve. Nuff said.

17. You remember where you were when this happened…

18. The words COPLEY CLOSE still make you shit yourself a little.

19. You know the Pizza on the Green menu better than you know yourself.

20. You understand this equation. Weatherspoons + Priory = Tuesday Nights for a great deal of your 6th form life.

21. You’ve heard the “Welcome to Aids” Boulevard Story, which is, incidentally why you’ve never been in.

22. You know the distinct taste of the water at Gurnell and still long to be small enough to go down the pink elephant slide again.

23. You (sadly) feel immense pride that the first ever English Nandos opened in Ealing Common. And still go to this one instead of the new one, out of habit and allegiance.

24. You’ve been chased through the Ealing broadway centre

25. You bought your first pack of Rizlas from Hippie Heaven

26. You or someone you know has had to get tetnis shots after falling into the Brent

27. You hear the words ‘Dance Gallery’ and do a little cringe.

28. You’ve done midnight mass. Pissed. And you’re not even Catholic.

29. Everyone at West K knew your order by heart, and who you were sleeping with.

30. You know that the festive season does not begin until lighting up the lane.

31. You hear this a lot from new friends you make that aren’t from Ealing

32. Finally. When you’re leaving and you hear that “the train terminates at “Hainult Via Newbury Park”, and still smile everytime you hear it, because it sounds like she’s saying Anal.

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