1. Play a full game of dominos. Once you knock your whole domino creation down, one cheese pizza will suddenly appear.
2. At Chipotle, say you want “extra” pizza instead of “double” pizza so they don’t charge you more.
3. Also at Chipotle, ask for a water cup and fill it with pizza from their pizza machine instead to save money.
4. Every morning, drink a warm glass of pizza water to boost your metabolism. It also wakes up your digestive tract.
5. When someone asks if you’re in a relationship, scream: “Yeah, with PIZZA!!!!!!” Watch the hilarity ensue as all your friends laugh in safe agreement.
6. Cover all of the furniture in your home with pizza, so you can snack on slices whenever you please.
7. Buy all the ingredients for pizza, and rub them all over your body in a sexual way so you can grow closer to pizza.
8. Run out into your yard and whisper “pizza pizza.” A Little Caesar’s sales rep will come take your order – NO questions asked.
9. If you’re playing in the Super Bowl on Sunday (which statistically 30% of people reading this will be), replace all of your footballs with pizza so you can snack during game time. Pizza-Gate! Ha ha – kidding.
10. Travel to Italy and kick a real Italian man to the ground. He’ll be mad, but the direction in which he falls will guide you towards the closest pizza place.
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