"Hello" - Adele"Used to Love You" - Gwen Stefani"Sorry" - Justin Bieber"Wildest Dreams" - Taylor Swift"Same Old Love" - Selena Gomez"Hotline Bling" - Drake
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What Should You Exaggerate This Holiday Season?
TRUTH: your job duties mainly consist of updating your company's Twitter account and transferring cold calls to your boss's voicemail. ENHANCED TRUTH: you're a "Marketing Content Specialist" in charge of your company's social media presence, with a hand in branding. (Just remember to dodge anyone who you've added on LinkedIn.)
TRUTH: you're paying $950/month to share a studio apartment with 3 other people in Queens. ENHANCED TRUTH: you're renting an open-plan loft near Midtown (I mean, compared to your hometown, isn't everywhere else kind of near Midtown?). (NOTE: No one needs to know if you're still living with your parents.)
TRUTH: your social life revolves around work, Netflix, and wine. ENHANCED TRUTH: oh man, who even has time for hobbies when everything else in your life is so great! But when you do find time, you're a budding cinephile with a vested interest in "vino" (props if you can work the word "aficionado" in there)
TRUTH: none of your recent Bumble, Tinder, or Hinge matches have ended happily ever after. In fact, none of them have messaged you back in weeks. ENHANCED TRUTH: you're dating a few people casually, but to be honest, everything else in your life is on such a fast track that you really can't spend a lot of energy beating off potential suitors.
The reality of your current situation is impressive enough without any little white lies. Way to go you! Not that you care if your former peers admire you, anyway.
You poor fragile dove. Next year, you'll get yourself together and have something to boast about when you run into your 10th grade crush. But for now, start working on your elaborate backstory and anticipate their innocent questions. Just remember to dodge anyone who you've added on LinkedIn.