The 7 Deadly Sins Of Penniless Freelance Writers (Hilariously Illustrated)

These seven mistakes are what separate freelance writers who make money from those who don't, complete with humorous illustrations.

You know that anyone can write, but not everyone gets paid for it — and even worse, only a small group of writers gets paid really well. Why? If you're dealing with the ongoing frustration of trying to get good freelance writing jobs and nothing's working, then you need to find new ways to step up your game.

As a copy editor who helps to evaluate hundreds of online applications from new writers on a weekly basis, I know the online-writing market. I'd like to share with you the top seven deadly sins that I see new freelance writers make online every day. By following this checklist, you'll quickly discover the weak points you need to improve in order to save yourself at least a year's worth of rejections.

1. Don’t think you write like Shakespeare without getting real feedback.

Bizarro Comics / Via bizarrocomics.com

Now, what is “real” feedback? Any feedback is technically real if it comes from someone who doesn’t know you.

You know, someone who can actually tell you what they really think because it has no consequences for them.

Many "type A" writers like the introverted life where you can quietly believe that your ideas are fantastic, and maybe your cat will agree with you. However, if you’re afraid to ask a stranger for a real opinion of your work, then you won’t go far as a writer.

The opposite "type B" writers don’t do much better though. You need some confidence, of course, but over-confidence to the point of thinking you’re so good that you don’t need anyone’s approval is also a big problem. Both type A and B writers ending up producing the same kind of writing: a rambling pile of nothing special. It doesn’t start anywhere, and it doesn’t go anywhere.

What’s the solution?

Take a deep breath and ask someone to read your work! Reach out to other established writers through social-media websites. Offer to share your work and even write a review for their new e-book in exchange for thorough feedback about your writing. Also, consider writing for a custom-content website that points out your mistakes if possible to get more honest comments.

2. Don’t think you know what the client wants better than they do.

JOEL STICE / Via collegehumor.com

Sure, you have some great ideas for this new writing project. Before you jump off the deep end into a typing frenzy though, ask yourself:

Is this really what my client wants?

I’ll give you a tell-tale hint:

If you’re writing and writing after you only read the instructions one time — which means you thought about the guidelines for a total of around five minutes before starting — then you need to stop. Chances are that you’ve probably written something that has very little to do with what they actually paid you to write.

What’s the solution?

The client's instructions are your Bible for every project - treat them as such. Study every word and re-read them to make sure that what you're writing is exactly what they actually asked for. Otherwise, they'll ask for you to rewrite the whole thing several times. Worse, they could refuse to pay if you didn't follow a critical instruction.

Don’t write about something that you have absolutely zero experience with — even if you’re desperate for cash.

Even the best writer cannot fake their way through a writing assignment when they don’t know anything about the topic. Google can only take you so far, people — seriously. It becomes obvious really quickly when you don’t know the industry lingo or proper phrasing that you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Here’s a hint:

Ask yourself if the writing project that you want to accept requires you to research for three times the amount of time you’ll spend actually writing. If so, then just say, “No.” You’re way out of your league.

What’s the solution?

Focus more on writing what you really know and developing experience in your favorite field.

3. Learn the difference between a style choice and a grammatical error.

9GAG.com / Via pleated-jeans.com

While the above image is a font fail, many writers can make similar mistakes by confusing "creative grammar" with "style."

One quirky trait you may like to imitate is throwing out capitalization rules in order to imitate the great “e.e. cummings.” You may also feel tempted to start every other sentence with a conjunction such as “And,” “But,” etc. Nevertheless, you must understand that you’ve only made a style choice if you’re creating a pattern that’s consistent throughout your piece. In other words, you know all the grammar rules, and you're intentionally breaking them — once in a while — to make a clear point. If your whole piece is full of grammar mistakes that makes Word go crazy with green and red squiggly lines, then you’re not just making a few trendy “style choices.” Your grammar needs serious work.

What’s the solution?

Yes, you must study. Pick up a copy of the Associated Press Style Guide and review its punctuation guide daily until it’s stuck in your head. Also consider the Chicago Manual of Style or some "grammar devotionals” from expert authors.

4. Avoid starting sentences with “There is" or “There are many" -- They BORE readers to death!!

Memegenerator.net / Via memegenerator.net

Seriously, any sentence beginning with “There is” tranquilizes readers. Don’t become like every other new writer who uses these phrases all over their pieces. These sentences are more boring than your last calculus class before Spring Break! Think about it - rather than giving your reader something interesting to hold onto like a subject, an object or an action, a "There is.." sentence gives them:

… absolutely nothing.

You've just started your sentence with the most empty, meaningless adverb possible. This example is the epitome of lazy writing. If you're really interested in doing a great job, you'll never find yourself tempted to write this way.

5. Don’t waste hours trying to bid on competitive projects through freelance websites.

setbabiesonfire.tumblr.com / Via setbabiesonfire.tumblr.com

This photo shows what will happen to you after a few hours on a "bid-to-get-projects" website, and here's why:

Any freelance writing website that requires you to bid only rewards those who work for the lowest price! New freelance-writing websites are popping up like crazy, but many of them have the same unfortunate setup:

They attract clients to post projects for free with a general budget range, and then all of the writers registered on that website can make bids for the project. The client gets to compare writers and pick their favorite. Now, what’s wrong here?

It’s a perfect system for the client — not for you. The purpose of the whole system is to drive down the prices for the client by creating a pool of insanely competitive writers who are all desperate for work. Do you really think a Fortune 500 company is going to post a project on these websites? If you’re trying to attract clients who value high-quality writing over cheap content-stuffers, then forget about these websites. I hear too many stories of people just like you wasting hours on bidding for so many projects that they never get. It’s just not worth it.

What’s the solution?

Create an online writing portfolio that makes clients come to you. Then pitch yourself to top websites, newspapers, magazines, etc.

I can hear some of you insisting, “But I did get a writing project once on those bidding websites…” — so for you, I’d advise only bidding on a few projects where you actually have substantial experience to offer, but only do it if the client has a good budget to offer and you’re a real expert in that field.

6. Don't accept work before screening your clients appropriately.

Saved by Terrie Barrette on Pinterest / Via pinterest.com

Dealing with people online means generally means that you can never be 100-percent sure of who they are, where they are and if they will pay you for your work.

Sorry, but I have to tell you: Lots of people take advantage of new writers who are desperate for a job. The good news is that you can generally recognize these types because they’ll keep on haggling with you to lower your price, and they’ll push you to get the job done in a few hours, if possible. They’re also often from second and third-world countries. It’s very common for new writers to become so excited that they got a writing job that they miss the warning signs. When you submit your work and never get paid, the client suddenly goes offline for good. Don’t think that they died. They probably never planned on paying you.

What’s the solution?

Set up a clear payment policy and stick to it. Always take at least some percentage upfront when someone hires you. People will respect you for it, and people who don’t pay upfront aren’t the ones you want to attract anyway. Plus, always do a little background research on your client if you suspect a scam.

7. Don't repeat yourself.

Gurl.com / Via gurl.com

Sometimes writers use little phrases they think are cute, like "because why not," which is great if you mention it once when it's really appropriate. You could write it twice if the piece really calls for it and is longer than 300 words. However, more than that is overkill and shows a serious lack of imagination and writing vocabulary, people!

Now that you know what to do, it's up to you, dear aspiring writers, to try and become better than what you are if you'd like to make real money by writing.