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    12 Worst Types Of Kisses

    Too much pushin' with the smoochin'.

    1. The First Time

    Focus Features / Via

    Ah, the first time: often magical, but never not awkward. Neither of you have any idea how kissing works, but you go after it with gusto. Trust me, it gets better. Sometimes.

    2. The Closed Mouth Fiasco

    NIckleodeon / Via 12 Worst Types Of Kisses

    Because there is nothing sexier than kissing with pursed lips. This also is the same kiss reserved for your grandparents, so you just doubled the ick factor, Casanova.

    3. The Prickly Pear / Via

    Eventually, you'll grow your facial hair to a point where it doesn't jab like a million needles anymore when kissing. Before that, though, anyone kissing someone with stubble will walk away looking like they have second degree burns around their mouth.

    4. The Sloppy Slop Slop


    Otherwise known as the Wet War Cry. This is literally like kissing a bucket of drool that is pulsating. Romance!

    5. The Desert Rose


    Dry. Arid. Void of moisture and life. Lips that could be used to sand a used coffee table. All of these apply to the Desert Rose kiss.

    6. The Lizard Tongue


    This is when someone's tongue keeps darting into your mouth like a lizard trying to snag a fly. Yuck.

    7. The Gum Heist



    8. Stinky The Dragon Slayer

    Warner Bros. / Via

    Take a hint, eat a mint.

    9. The Magellan


    Exploring the back of your mouth since 1480 A.D.

    10. The Jack Daniels

    MTV / Via

    You. Are. Drunk. And your kissing looks like two cats cleaning one another.

    11. The Tooth Fairy


    A little biting is ok when kissing, but gnawing on someone like a chew toy is grounds for getting your kissing card revoked.

    12. The Perfect Vacation

    Warner Bros. / Via

    This is actually a great kiss that happens while on vacation. The bummer part is that the person you are kissing is either a local or lives on the other side of the world. Either way chances are you will probably never see them again. Oh, well. At least you have someone to compare everyone else to!

    Hey, at least you'll never have to first kiss again!