Buzz·Posted on Jan 6, 201412 Worst Types Of KissesToo much pushin' with the smoochin'.by Justin AbarcaBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. The First Time Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Focus Features / Via now-here-this.timeout.com Ah, the first time: often magical, but never not awkward. Neither of you have any idea how kissing works, but you go after it with gusto. Trust me, it gets better. Sometimes. 2. The Closed Mouth Fiasco Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF NIckleodeon / Via 12 Worst Types Of Kisses Because there is nothing sexier than kissing with pursed lips. This also is the same kiss reserved for your grandparents, so you just doubled the ick factor, Casanova. 3. The Prickly Pear Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com / Via sodahead.com Eventually, you'll grow your facial hair to a point where it doesn't jab like a million needles anymore when kissing. Before that, though, anyone kissing someone with stubble will walk away looking like they have second degree burns around their mouth. 4. The Sloppy Slop Slop Via pressherald.com Otherwise known as the Wet War Cry. This is literally like kissing a bucket of drool that is pulsating. Romance! 5. The Desert Rose Via tootimidandsqueamish.com Dry. Arid. Void of moisture and life. Lips that could be used to sand a used coffee table. All of these apply to the Desert Rose kiss. 6. The Lizard Tongue Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via wifflegif.com This is when someone's tongue keeps darting into your mouth like a lizard trying to snag a fly. Yuck. 7. The Gum Heist Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via youtube.com Ewwwwwww. 8. Stinky The Dragon Slayer Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Warner Bros. / Via sparkz0r.dreamwidth.org Take a hint, eat a mint. 9. The Magellan Via smosh.com Exploring the back of your mouth since 1480 A.D. 10. The Jack Daniels Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF MTV / Via howlatthemoon.com You. Are. Drunk. And your kissing looks like two cats cleaning one another. 11. The Tooth Fairy Via weheartit.com A little biting is ok when kissing, but gnawing on someone like a chew toy is grounds for getting your kissing card revoked. 12. The Perfect Vacation Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Warner Bros. / Via now-here-this.timeout.com This is actually a great kiss that happens while on vacation. The bummer part is that the person you are kissing is either a local or lives on the other side of the world. Either way chances are you will probably never see them again. Oh, well. At least you have someone to compare everyone else to! Hey, at least you'll never have to first kiss again! thoughtsofanenglishmajor.wordpress.com Right...?