1. If Mr. Martini had been named Mr. Laundry, do you think he would’ve opened a dry cleaners instead of a bar?
Also, please start referring to me as Mr. Martini.
2. Are the angels actually aliens, since they are clearly communicating from different solar systems?
Plus, what was Clarence the angel doing for 200 years while he was waiting for his turn? And why was he reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer? Did he die mid-book report?
3. Why did George and his brother go sledding down a hill that obviously led to icy water?
They also sled down using shovels, which is all kinds of WTF but pretty badass nonetheless.
5. How come boys don’t walk arm-in-arm anymore?
I am totally linking arms with my bros next time we stroll out.
6. How did young George know Violet wanted shoelaces? Does she have a shoelace fetish?
Also, look at young Mary throwing maaaad shade at Violet.
7. Did Clarence have a thing for George?
“That’s a good face. I like George Bailey.” — Clarence, creeping from the beyond
8. Why is Harry playing slap-ass with the housekeeper?
9. Why is George a GIANT?
And why does no one call him “George the Giant”?
10. Why didn’t Jimmy Stewart do this in every movie?
Eat those moves, Justin Timberlake.
11. Why was this deathtrap legal?
“Know what’s a good idea? A pool under the gym floor! Nothing bad will ever happen, promise.” — The school principle with no foresight
12. Why do George and Mary think throwing rocks at abandoned property is totally appropriate behavior?
I guess it’s fine if you’re wishing to live there some day?
13. Does the office raven get benefits or is he a seasonal employee?
14. How is Harry a football star?
He’s five-foot nothing, a hundred and nothing, never gonna be nothing, amirite?
15. Why is everyone in the town so nosy when George is talking to Violet?
MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, PEOPLE! HE JUST WANTS TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN BAREFOOT.
16. Where can I buy one of these record-player-slash-rotisserie-grills?
17. Is this goat a part of Mr. Martini’s family or just dinner?
I’m guessing a little of both.
18. What is up with Mr. Potter’s desk ornaments?
Are they mementos from his days at Slytherin?
19. Also, why is Mr. Potter’s assistant so sad?
“I miss Martha.” — Mr. Potter’s assistant, thinking about the one who got away
20. Is that a porcupine on Violet’s head?
Well, whatever it is, she is rockin’ it.
21. Was Uncle Billy really Dr. Dolittle?
Poor Uncle Billy, never married and with a house full of animals. I wonder what he did with his time?
23. No George = Mary is a homely librarian?
George thinks pretty highly of himself, doesn’t he?
24. Did the cop have to go home for his accordion or is it something that he always has at the ready?
Also, everyone looks like they are about to eat Harry in this pic lolol.
25. Finally, why does only Zuzu get the cool name?
Sorry, Janie, Pete, and Tommy. It’s obvious who the favorite is.