16 Swim Trunks For Guys With Big Dicks But Small Budgets

Wrangle that thing in this summer, and for under $30!

1. H&M Swim Short, $13

 

Though these may be short, they will still be totally capable of keeping your baby arm in check.

2. Forever 21 Abstract Ombre Swim Trunks, $16

 

With a fun design like this, maybe people will start your looking at your crotch for all the right reasons.

3. Forever 21 Geo Print Swim Trunks, $16

 

This geometric pattern totally says, “Yeah, I’m packing… a picnic basket for the beach!”

4. Forever 21 Aloha Swim Trunks, $16

 

Getting lei’d has never been easier with these flower print trunks.

5. Forever 21 Galaxy Print Swim Trunks, $16

 

Shoot for the stars, and they’ll land among your trouser rocket.

6. H&M Patterned Swim Short, $18

 

The horizontal pattern really accentuates your wang’s full potential.

7. H&M Patterned Swim Short, $18

 

Another great pair of swim shorts that will keep your kielbasa in check.

8. ASOS Swim Short, $23

 

It takes a man with a big ol’ porker to rock pink shorts.

9. Mossimo Supply Co., Target, $25

 

If your thunder from down under is starting to grow, this pair of shorts will keep the storm at bay.

10. C9 by Champion®, Target, $25

 

These offer that pop of color that will distract from your pop up tower.

11. H&M Patterned Swim Short, $25

 

These are a little longer, great if you have big schlonger.

12. New Look Safari Print Swim Short, ASOS, $25

 

Animal prints say, “Under these shorts it’s like the The Lion King: Longer than you remembered and definitely made for adults.”

13. ASOS Acid Wash Swim Short, $26

 

Take it back to the ’80s with an acid wash look, to a simpler time when gas was cheap and the hair was as big as your third leg.

14. Body Glove Session Boardshort, Zappos, $27

 

Because pastels are a subtle way to say, “Hey, my eyes are up here.”

15. American Eagle Colorblocked Stripe Swim Trunk, $30

 

Color block for your girthy rock!

16. Modern Amusement Printed Boardshorts, PacSun, $30

 

These trunks are the heartsong for your ding dong.

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