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    23 Things Husbands Say Vs. What They Really Mean

    Sorry, wives of the world.

    1. "Of course I was listening."

    ABC / Via reddit.com

    I was not listening and you totally caught me.

    2. "That wasn't me."

    First Look Home Ent. / Via billcosbysfacialexpressions.tumblr.com

    I totally just farted. Sorry.

    3. "What do you want to do now?"

    Disney

    Please say sex, please say sex, please say sex...

    4. "Yes, I'm fine."

    Warner Bros. / Via reactiongifs.com

    I'm not in a bad mood, but if you keep asking if I am I will be soon.

    5. "Sure, I'd love to join you on a diet."

    USA Films / Via neilmobile.tumblr.com

    I will be secretly eating junk food on my way home from work.

    6. "I'd love to have (random cousin I've never met) stay with us for a weekend."

    Esquire / Via jaegermasters.tumblr.com

    You owe me one.

    7. "Are you tired?"

    AMC / Via saintisasinner.tumblr.com

    I want to have sex.

    8. "Can you believe what that woman is wearing?"

    20th Century Fox / Via tomcruising.tumblr.com

    Please forgive me for totally checking out that woman right now.

    9. "Don't worry, I'll deal with the spider."

    Radius-TWC / Via do-androidsdreamof-electricsheep.tumblr.com

    Spiders terrify me, but it is my husbandly duty to take care of things like this so here goes nothing.

    10. "Yes, that looks great on you."

    United Artists / Via reactiongifs.com

    You looked great a half an hour ago. Can we please go to dinner now?

    11. "Do I find her attractive? Eh, not really my type."

    Disney / Via sailing-through-wonder.tumblr.com

    I'm not stupid enough to fall for this trick.

    12. "I actually don't like strip clubs."

    Paramount Pictures / Via gifsofnicolascage.tumblr.com

    Really, I don't. But you know… boobs.

    13. "Here, let me Google that for you."

    Paramount Pictures / Via gifbay.com

    I forgot to clear my browser history.

    14. "Those towels will look perfect in the bathroom."

    NBC / Via swansondonaghypowers.tumblr.com

    I couldn't care less what the bathroom towels look like.

    15. "If that's what you wanna do."

    BBC / Via reddit.com

    You're going to get your way anyway so why bother?

    16. "What do you want to do for our anniversary?"

    Universal Pictures / Via fyeah80s-90s.tumblr.com

    Please answer by saying the date because I can't remember it right now.

    17. "Do we have to go to that wedding?"

    Warner Bros. / Via reddit.com

    I would rather cut off my right pinky than go to another wedding this summer.

    18. Real Housewives again?

    Bravo

    I love this show.

    19. "I don't care where we eat."

    NBC / Via reddit.com

    I do care but want you to decide because I am an indecisive man-child.

    20. "I'll take out the trash in a minute."

    Colombia Pictures / Via mattybing1025.tumblr.com

    That will be more like an hour, TBH. And only because you will remind me again.

    21. "Am I getting fat?"

    NBC / Via burgerlords.com

    I am being vulnerable right now and can use some honest criticism.

    22. "Wow, you look really stunning right now."

    CW / Via swedishfishrule.tumblr.com

    So... sex?

    23. "I love you."

    Pixar / Via scottyrocket.tumblr.com

    You are my everything, and bring me more joy than I ever thought I could experience.