23 Things Husbands Say Vs. What They Really Mean

Sorry, wives of the world.

1. “Of course I was listening.”

I was not listening and you totally caught me.

ABC / Via reddit.com

2. “That wasn’t me.”

I totally just farted. Sorry.

First Look Home Ent. / Via billcosbysfacialexpressions.tumblr.com

3. “What do you want to do now?”

Please say sex, please say sex, please say sex…


4. “Yes, I’m fine.”

I’m not in a bad mood, but if you keep asking if I am I will be soon.

Warner Bros. / Via reactiongifs.com

5. “Sure, I’d love to join you on a diet.”

I will be secretly eating junk food on my way home from work.

USA Films / Via neilmobile.tumblr.com

6. “I’d love to have (random cousin I’ve never met) stay with us for a weekend.”

You owe me one.

7. “Are you tired?”

I want to have sex.

8. “Can you believe what that woman is wearing?”

Please forgive me for totally checking out that woman right now.

20th Century Fox / Via tomcruising.tumblr.com

9. “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with the spider.”

Spiders terrify me, but it is my husbandly duty to take care of things like this so here goes nothing.

10. “Yes, that looks great on you.”

You looked great a half an hour ago. Can we please go to dinner now?

United Artists / Via reactiongifs.com

11. “Do I find her attractive? Eh, not really my type.”

I’m not stupid enough to fall for this trick.

12. “I actually don’t like strip clubs.”

Really, I don’t. But you know… boobs.

Paramount Pictures / Via gifsofnicolascage.tumblr.com

13. “Here, let me Google that for you.”

I forgot to clear my browser history.

Paramount Pictures / Via gifbay.com

14. “Those towels will look perfect in the bathroom.”

I couldn’t care less what the bathroom towels look like.

15. “If that’s what you wanna do.”

You’re going to get your way anyway so why bother?

BBC / Via reddit.com

16. “What do you want to do for our anniversary?”

Please answer by saying the date because I can’t remember it right now.

Universal Pictures / Via fyeah80s-90s.tumblr.com

17. “Do we have to go to that wedding?”

I would rather cut off my right pinky than go to another wedding this summer.

Warner Bros. / Via reddit.com

18. Real Housewives again?

I love this show.


19. “I don’t care where we eat.”

I do care but want you to decide because I am an indecisive man-child.

NBC / Via reddit.com

20. “I’ll take out the trash in a minute.”

That will be more like an hour, TBH. And only because you will remind me again.

Colombia Pictures / Via mattybing1025.tumblr.com

21. “Am I getting fat?”

I am being vulnerable right now and can use some honest criticism.

NBC / Via burgerlords.com

22. “Wow, you look really stunning right now.”

So… sex?

23. “I love you.”

You are my everything, and bring me more joy than I ever thought I could experience.

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