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23 Things Husbands Say Vs. What They Really Mean

Sorry, wives of the world.

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1. "Of course I was listening."

ABC / Via reddit.com

I was not listening and you totally caught me.

2. "That wasn't me."

First Look Home Ent. / Via billcosbysfacialexpressions.tumblr.com

I totally just farted. Sorry.

3. "What do you want to do now?"

Disney

Please say sex, please say sex, please say sex...

4. "Yes, I'm fine."

Warner Bros. / Via reactiongifs.com

I'm not in a bad mood, but if you keep asking if I am I will be soon.

5. "Sure, I'd love to join you on a diet."

USA Films / Via neilmobile.tumblr.com

I will be secretly eating junk food on my way home from work.

6. "I'd love to have (random cousin I've never met) stay with us for a weekend."

Esquire / Via jaegermasters.tumblr.com

You owe me one.

7. "Are you tired?"

AMC / Via saintisasinner.tumblr.com

I want to have sex.

8. "Can you believe what that woman is wearing?"

20th Century Fox / Via tomcruising.tumblr.com

Please forgive me for totally checking out that woman right now.

9. "Don't worry, I'll deal with the spider."

Radius-TWC / Via do-androidsdreamof-electricsheep.tumblr.com

Spiders terrify me, but it is my husbandly duty to take care of things like this so here goes nothing.

10. "Yes, that looks great on you."

United Artists / Via reactiongifs.com

You looked great a half an hour ago. Can we please go to dinner now?

11. "Do I find her attractive? Eh, not really my type."

Disney / Via sailing-through-wonder.tumblr.com

I'm not stupid enough to fall for this trick.

12. "I actually don't like strip clubs."

Paramount Pictures / Via gifsofnicolascage.tumblr.com

Really, I don't. But you know… boobs.

13. "Here, let me Google that for you."

Paramount Pictures / Via gifbay.com

I forgot to clear my browser history.

14. "Those towels will look perfect in the bathroom."

NBC / Via swansondonaghypowers.tumblr.com

I couldn't care less what the bathroom towels look like.

15. "If that's what you wanna do."

BBC / Via reddit.com

You're going to get your way anyway so why bother?

16. "What do you want to do for our anniversary?"

Universal Pictures / Via fyeah80s-90s.tumblr.com

Please answer by saying the date because I can't remember it right now.

17. "Do we have to go to that wedding?"

Warner Bros. / Via reddit.com

I would rather cut off my right pinky than go to another wedding this summer.

18. Real Housewives again?

Bravo

I love this show.

19. "I don't care where we eat."

NBC / Via reddit.com

I do care but want you to decide because I am an indecisive man-child.

20. "I'll take out the trash in a minute."

Colombia Pictures / Via mattybing1025.tumblr.com

That will be more like an hour, TBH. And only because you will remind me again.

21. "Am I getting fat?"

NBC / Via burgerlords.com

I am being vulnerable right now and can use some honest criticism.

22. "Wow, you look really stunning right now."

CW / Via swedishfishrule.tumblr.com

So... sex?

23. "I love you."

Pixar / Via scottyrocket.tumblr.com

You are my everything, and bring me more joy than I ever thought I could experience.

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