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"House Of Cards" As Told By Someone Who Has Never Seen It

It's about magicians, right?

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WARNING! There are spoilers ahead but I wouldn't know since I don't watch the show, but people who do watch the show say that there are.

I know everyone has watched this show but I haven't, so sue me. What I did do is search Tumblr for images and GIFs to summarize what this show is all about. Here are my findings.

This is Frank Underwood.* He's a senator?

Netflix / Via andgirlswillbe.tumblr.com

*I know that from the tag that was under the GIF.

Frank is a no-nonsense kind of guy, who isn't going to let a receding hairline hold him back.

In fact, he will rock it with enthusiasm.
Netflix / Via robertdeniro.tumblr.com

In fact, he will rock it with enthusiasm.

He was also an aspiring animator but had to put that dream on the back burner.

Netflix / Via stephaniedall.tumblr.com

Everything Frank says is extremely deep.

This is his wife, Bossbitch.gov.*

Netflix / Via mrgolightly.tumblr.com

*Also what this was tagged as.

I think she has anger issues.

This is their daughter. Her name is Zoe.

Netflix / Via zozeroni.tumblr.com

She seems like a tough cookie. Probably has some issues with her parents.

Frank is close to Zoe.

Wait, I'm confused.

Uh...

Moving on, Zoe misses trains a lot.

Netflix / Via rollingdamage.tumblr.com

Plus, Major Dad from Major Dad is in it. He thinks everything is funny.

Netflix / Via notkatniss.tumblr.com

Anyway, Frank and Bossbitch.gov seem to be pretty open sexually, which is pretty cool for politicians.

Netflix / Via robertdeniro.tumblr.com

After they have threesomes they enjoy dinner and wine and looking at each another.

Netflix / Via bobbyfinger.tumblr.com
Netflix / Via bobbyfinger.tumblr.com

The real mystery of the show is the "him" that they hate so much.

Netflix / Via notkatniss.tumblr.com
Netflix / Via notkatniss.tumblr.com
Who can it be? Sen. Torkleson? James the intern?
Netflix / Via notkatniss.tumblr.com

Who can it be? Sen. Torkleson? James the intern?

Also, Linda keeps coming in and messing stuff up.

Whoever Linda is, that is.
Netflix / Via world-collapsing.tumblr.com

Whoever Linda is, that is.

What everyone DOESN'T know is that their every move is being watched by this guy named Cashew and his talking guinea pig.

Netflix / Via superfuffa.tumblr.com

However, Frank is writing every thing he does down so as not to be blackmailed since he will have his own paper trail.

Netflix / Via wissywigg.tumblr.com

Ultimately, the show is about people who like to look at the camera and give soliloquies.

Netflix / Via aliciavikandr.co.vu

Like, they loooooove looking at the camera.

Netflix / Via arimelber.tumblr.com

Yep, this show is probably awesome and I think I nailed what it's all about. Right, Frank?

Netflix / Via wissywigg.tumblr.com

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