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    The 20 Biggest Dick Moves You Can Make When You're Drunk

    Not so drunk in love.

    1. Get too close when talking.

    Colombia Pictures
    Colombia Pictures

    "Blah blah blah politics blah blah blah organic cashews blah blah blah..." –That dick turd who is one inch from your face at a party.

    2. Start crying over something dumb.

    Fox Searchlight
    Fox Searchlight

    Jenna is with Tommy now? I'm sorr – Wait, you're talking about a TV show?! What a dick.

    3. Become unnecessarily loud.

    Paramount Pictures / Via

    What's that? I can't hear you since you just blew out my eardrum, dick cheese.

    4. Pick fights for no apparent reason.


    I get it. You need attention and weren't hugged enough as a child. Moving on, dickhole.

    5. Attempt to drunkenly kiss someone.

    20th Century Fox / Via

    They weren't giving you the eyes, they were just concerned about how much you drank, you dickasaurus rex.

    6. Start spilling all over the place (and yourself).

    Sony Pictures Classics / Via

    Oh, and now you're wiping it up with my good towels? Thanks, dick!

    7. Drunk dial your ex.

    CW / Via

    Because that is exactly what will win them back: a drunk, dickish you.

    8. Drunk text your ex.

    HBO / Via

    "WAT U UP2? ME? jusT W8n 4 u" –A text from a dick that basically reeks of Fireball shots.

    9. Start telling secrets.

    TruTV / Via

    Just because you're drunk doesn't mean you have license to start spreading all that gossip that you swore you would never tell, you dickwad.

    10. Be mean just because.

    NBC / Via

    My shirt looks stupid to you? Thanks for telling the entire room your opinion, dicknose.

    11. Stumble all over the place.


    From Johnny Walker to Johnny Not Walking in 3... 2... 1... Dick move!

    12. Start to undress in public.

    Universal Pictures / Via

    No, it's not hot in here, it's just you, you dick wipe.

    13. Say you're not hungry then eat someone else's food.


    Anyone see my burger – DAMNIT, DICK SLACKS!

    14. Pass out at inopportune times.

    NBC / Via

    The game hasn't even started and you're already passed out? What a drunk, sleepy dick.

    15. Throw up anywhere besides the toilet/middle of a forest.

    AMC / Via

    Y'know, I've always hated this rug. Thanks for puking on it so I can buy a new one, you dick rag.

    16. Pee anywhere other than a toilet/middle of the forest.

    Universal Pictures / Via

    When you gotta go, please don't go in my flowerbed, OK, Dick Trashy?

    17. Make out like no one is watching.

    USA Films / Via

    Trust me, everyone is watching and we're all grossed out, you pervy dick.

    18. Act like you're hot shit.


    Alcohol may give you confidence, but it can't give you a personality, you egotesticle dick.

    19. Forget what you were just saying.

    Buena Vista Pictures / Via

    "And then the nun says... Wait, I forgot the punchline. What where we ::burp:: talking about?" –A dick among dicks.

    20. Drive.


    Do I really have to explain this one, dick?

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