An Ode To Alcohol (When You Can No Longer Drink It)

Goodbye, old friend.

Recently, I was told by my doctor that I had to cut alcohol out of my diet for the next three months due to high cholesterol and high blood pressure. Thanks, genetics! Needless to say, good times like these will probably never happen again.*

Justin Abarca


* Well, at least for another three months. Or, y’know, forever.

In order to process my grief, I decided there was only one thing I could do: be super emo and write a poem about it. I hope you enjoy my sadness.

Oh, Alcohol!

Oh, alcohol!
You who filled the empty tumbler
Of my heart.
You who would greet me with a
Warm kiss after work,
Never judging,
Only loving.

Oh, alcohol!
When the doctor said
You were to go,
My heart sank,
Like an ice cube to the bottom
Of an old fashioned.
Taken like a
Thief in the night
Your scent still permeates the

Oh, alcohol!
No matter the incarnation
I will miss thee.
Farewell, ale.
‘Til we meet again, whiskey.
It’s been a pleasure, vodka.
Take care, gin.

Oh, alcohol!
How you have been with me
Through thick and thin!
Through happiness
And through
You were the best therapist
I ever had.
Maybe the worst.

Oh, alcohol!
How will I socialize now?
With sober thoughts and
A clear mind?
That is hogwash!
You were the elixir
That let me gab with
Free abandon. Now,
No more.

Oh, alcohol.
Maybe some day
We will meet again,
But chances are
That day will never come,
Which is probably
For the

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