it's hot as hell and the air conditioner in my bedroom is broken
the fan is just blowing hot air around
it's impossible to sleep
i've been wondering how Bill's doing
last we spoke, he was still upset about that accident
i do sympathize
but air traffic controllers have bad days like everyone else
i hope he realizes that
please, send him my best
anyway. . .
lying here, i keep thinking of this fish i had in high school
Bachelor, his name was. He was a betta -- you know, the red and blue kind whose fins flare out when they feel threatened?
i was dating this boy at the time.
he was crazy for fish. Even worked in a fish store
looking back, getting Bachelor was probably his idea
i'd have done anything for this boy
here i was with this fish
"Betas are very sensitive to temperature," my boyfriend told me. "Bachelor's water has to stay between 76 and 82 degrees at all times. Whatever you do, don't go outside of that range. It could be fatal."
fatal? Jesus. i'd bought the fish for $4.99
doubts reared up, but i couldn't turn back. i had to provide Bachelor a suitable environment
it was mid-July. Scorching hot. All i had for relief was a fan in my bedroom window
nights, i tossed and turned, just like i am now
tortured, i stared at that fan
if i turned it on, would Bachelor's water fall below 76 degrees?
lacking the proper instrumentation, i couldn't be sure
late one night, marinating in my own sweat
i got up and looked into Bachelor's bowl
there he was, fins gliding through the water with comfort and ease
and i realized i was jealous of the fucker
he was rested
while i was peaked, short-tempered, and hallucinating from sleep deprivation
i hated to pull rank
but food chain-wise, i had the advantage
there were too many species between us
just. too. many.
that night i honored my cerebral cortex and opposable thumbs and turned on the fan
and you know what?
Bachelor's water may have dipped to 75.9 degrees, but he fared just fine. For months
. . .until my aerosol hairspray finally caught up with him
it was the '80's, big hair and such
the atmosphere in my bedroom, i realized too late, was toxic
my hair held firm, but Bachelor grew weak
died a slow and untimely death
perhaps he'd have survived Paul Mitchell or Sebastian products, but i couldn't afford them
regardless, i've decided i'm not cut out for a pet fish
i do better with cats
they're more interactive and less vulnerable to airborne poisons
i should let you go
thanks for your ear
again, please send Bill my best
hope your rash is better