I recently talked to a blogger who gets thousands of hits a day. Desperate to learn his secrets, I imagined cuffing and coercing him into an isolated room with two chairs, a metal table, and lighting designed specifically to intimidate. I saw myself tossing back a shot of whiskey, lighting a cigar, and launching a steely, relentless interrogation, just like it might unfold on the big screen. In my imagination, the blogger enlightened me. And I, in my triumph, was momentarily distracted from my perimenopausal symptoms.
This did not happen. Instead, the blogger told me that it helps to be "topical."
Unsure what that means, exactly, I looked it up in the dictionary. "Having to do with topics of the day," it said. Then it all made sense.
So. Here's what's trending with me today:
Running low on Zoloft.
My computer mouse. Second only to the butterfly shoes.
How I'll spend my evening.
Laundry pile, also reflected in mirror, seeming to double my workload.
There you have it, folks. A pictorial account of what's hot in my world today.
If you get quiet and listen, you can almost hear the sizzle.
This will go viral for sure.