1. Think of all the stripes with this one.
2. Tiny dots? OK, tiny dots.
3. Just a bunch of crazy stripes across your middle. OK.
4. Like your shoulders and upper arms will be pale AF but your torso? TAN.
5. Like a tiger has clawed at your sides.
6. Whatever's happening here.
7. And then there's this.
8. And oh god, your poor back.
9. This look is...strangely demure.
10. I dunno. Is all this really necessary? Even the model seems unsure.
11. How do you feel about these boobages? (That's a portmanteau of boob bandages, FYI.)
12. Speaking of boobs — you'll get a nice little inner boob tan with this suit.
13. This suit has cute little boob suspenders.
15. This suit will give you scalloped edges. Just like the potatoes.
16. And this one? It's just asdlkfjasdlfjak.
