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OMG Winnie-The-Pooh Is Actually A Girl

Pooh truthers have uncovered Winnie’s deep dark secrets.

1. You’re all familiar with this friendly, pantsless, honey addict, right?

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Winnie the Pooh.

2. Well, what if we told you that everything you thought you knew about Winnie the Pooh was a LIE?

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PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, YOU WEIRDO.

3. According to a new book, Finding Winnie: The True Story of the World’s Most Famous Bear, the semiliterate bear is actually NOT British. She’s Canadian.

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4. Pooh was based on a real-life black bear cub purchased by a Canadian vet from a trapper in 1914.

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The vet named the bear Winnie after his native Winnipeg. He brought the bear with him to England, where Winnie served as a mascot for his regiment. (No word on Piglet.)

5. The vet eventually left the bear with the London Zoo, where a little boy named Christopher Robin would often visit the bear. That boy’s dad? A. A. Milne, the author of the Winnie-the-Pooh book series.

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BAM!

6. Finding Winnie’s other big bombshell: WINNIE IS NOT A DUDE. She’s a lady bear.

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The original bear, anyway, was a female bear.

7. Uh, YEAH:

Which makes it weird that the voice of the bear on the animated cartoon is a rakish BRITISH MALE VOICE?

8. So there you have it: Canadian, female, and a terrible honey addict. POOH DREAMS = SHATTERED.

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9. What do you think, tho? Do you believe the hype? Or are you, too, a Pooh TRUTHER?

Is Winnie the Pooh a boy or a girl?

— polls (@polls)

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