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33 Wedding Nightmares That'll Make You Glad You're Single

Bad brides, grooms, and guests, oh my.

Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their wedding horror stories. Here are the horrifying results.

1. The wedding guest who ate the cake — from the inside.

"A guy I know went to a wedding and got drunk and ate the inside of the wedding cake. He was a chef so I guess he figured out a way to (with the help of someone else) tilt the cake and eat the majority of the inside so the only thing that remained was the hard fondant shell. When the bride and groom went to cut the cake there was hardly any cake inside left." —Melissa Meza-Rapp, Facebook

2. The amazing... fart.

"I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding and up at the altar when I felt my stomach gurgle. I really tried to hold it in, but I farted. It was not silent. Since I was standing near the mic, everyone got treated to the sound of my fart. The smell was so bad they had to open the windows." —Jodye Rudolph, Facebook

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3. The dead man debacle.

"My husband and I attended an outdoor wedding at a public park in town. When we arrived the police and coroner's van were there, surrounded by the wedding guests. Apparently a homeless man had sought shelter behind the lattice surrounding the bottom of the gazebo floor and had DIED several days before. It was June in Missouri and the stench was horrible! So...they proceed to move the wedding to a field on the OTHER side of the park, and although everyone was shaken up they decided to proceed.

The preacher was in the middle of the vows and one of the groomsmen interrupted and said, 'John, I'm sorry but you can't marry Sherilynn. I love her and she's pregnant with my baby.' Wow. Then the groom proceeds to yell at his bride (not)-to-be that she was a cheap whore. Then one of the guests STANDS UP and yells at the groom, 'Serves you right, you bastard! You've been screwing my sister for a year!' Yep. —Sarah Taylor, Facebook

4. The vomtastic bride.

"I went to a wedding where the bride got so hammered that she started picking up glasses on random tables, throwing up into them, and then setting them back down." —Briana Scheibel, Facebook
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

"I went to a wedding where the bride got so hammered that she started picking up glasses on random tables, throwing up into them, and then setting them back down." —Briana Scheibel, Facebook

5. The upstager.

"I was at a wedding about 10 years ago and the bride did not get along with her brother and his new girlfriend. During the reception, the girlfriend grabbed the microphone and gave a speech, then made the brother get down on one knee, and she proposed to him. People booed, then it got really quiet and the bride rushed to where the situation happened and said, 'No one gives a fuck because this is my fucking day,' and everyone cheered." —Teresa Phipps, Facebook

6. The kissing cousins.

"Several years back, my family and I went to a wedding ceremony and didn't know whether to sit on the bride's side or the groom's side. Because they were both our cousins." —Annalise Joanne Settefrati, Facebook

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7. The time things got a little Stand by Me-ish.

"One of the bridesmaids arrived to the church massively hungover and started puking right in front of everyone, completely trashing her dress. The whole thing triggered a domino effect on a few kids, and they began vomiting. Eventually, the whole place started reeking of vomit and the bride's dad had to pay for cleaning the entire place. The reception was cool, though." —Alberto López, Facebook

8. The runaway bride.

"There were about 100 guests at the wedding reception and we were waiting for the bride, whom no one had actually seen since she and the groom had left the church. After about an hour, people started to leave, even though the poor groom assured them "she'd be right back." It wasn't until two days later I found out the bride had asked her new husband for the car keys, saying she needed something, got in the car and took off in her bridal gown, stopped and picked up a former boyfriend, and left for Mexico, taking all of the gift money with her. I have never felt so sorry or embarrassed for anyone as I did the groom." —Kate Walters, Facebook
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

"There were about 100 guests at the wedding reception and we were waiting for the bride, whom no one had actually seen since she and the groom had left the church. After about an hour, people started to leave, even though the poor groom assured them "she'd be right back." It wasn't until two days later I found out the bride had asked her new husband for the car keys, saying she needed something, got in the car and took off in her bridal gown, stopped and picked up a former boyfriend, and left for Mexico, taking all of the gift money with her. I have never felt so sorry or embarrassed for anyone as I did the groom." —Kate Walters, Facebook

9. The layaway plan

"My friend had been with this girl for over two years when they decided to get married really quick. They planned it all, the ceremony, the party, everything, and got married three months after he'd proposed to her. Her dress was so expensive that he paid for it in 10 installments. Their marriage lasted for one month. ONE month. And he still had nine more installments to pay." —Priscila Forster, Facebook

10. The surprise show.

"I do a little wedding photography on the side, and at one ceremony I shot last year, the inebriated bride had forgotten she was wearing crotchless panties when she playfully hooked her leg up onto the groom's shoulder as he kneeled in front of her. The guests got quite a show, and the whole thing was immortalized in film." —Robin Lyster, Facebook

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11. The impulse proposal.

"Me and my boyfriend attended his aunt's wedding. The groom got so drunk at the reception that he was put to bed in the bridal suite about 9 p.m. So the rest of the family went back to the bride's mother's house, where my boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed to me in front of everyone. I walked out the room mortified and apologized profusely to his aunt for stealing her thunder. But eventually I said yes to marrying him. The next day when we had sobered up I gave him the opportunity to think and take it back, and he spent the next two days assuring me he loved me and wanted to marry me, only to dump me a week later :(" —Lori Anne Robbins, Facebook

12. The garter gaffe.

"The son of the groom caught the garter and the daughter of the bride caught the bouquet. The groom then proceeded to help his son put the garter on his new stepsister." —Katie Marie, Facebook

13. The tuna fish fiasco.

The tuna fish wedding."The wedding reception was in a huge room, with five small tables with cheap dollar store plastic tablecloths and nothing else on them. The only food was a tiny sheet cake that could feed maybe 50 people, and on a long banquet table they had...one bowl of tuna fish salad, that had been sitting out for hours, with one small box of crackers. Nothing to drink or eat, no plates or forks or cups, and no one to cut the cake. (I ending up doing it.) The bride did look fabulous in her dress and she was very happy." —Taiga Hilliard, Facebook
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

The tuna fish wedding.

"The wedding reception was in a huge room, with five small tables with cheap dollar store plastic tablecloths and nothing else on them. The only food was a tiny sheet cake that could feed maybe 50 people, and on a long banquet table they had...one bowl of tuna fish salad, that had been sitting out for hours, with one small box of crackers. Nothing to drink or eat, no plates or forks or cups, and no one to cut the cake. (I ending up doing it.) The bride did look fabulous in her dress and she was very happy." —Taiga Hilliard, Facebook

14. The bride and the brawl

"I used to work at a sports bar in southwest London. One evening we had a wedding reception. (You can imagine that people who have their wedding receptions at a place where people go to play football on Astroturf aren't the classiest.)

Fairly late into the night I noticed that everyone swarmed out of the bar into the reception area. I went to the reception desk to see what was going on just in time to see a broken glass flying toward someone's neck. Literally the entire wedding got involved in this fight, and by the time the police arrived a bridesmaid had had her dress torn off, the bride was splattered in blood, and I saw a man holding a baby get punched in the face three times.

Before she left the bride asked me if I thought she'd get her deposit back. I was speechless." —Lauren Tai Sen Choy, Facebook

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15. The Photoshop fail.

"I'm a wedding photographer and I once had a bride call me the day after her wedding to ask if I could photoshop a bridesmaid out of all her pictures because, 'That bitch fucked my husband last night.' I thought she'd probably do better to edit out the groom." —Tracy Cavallari, Facebook

16. The drunk dick.

"My husband's best friend was so drunk during our reception that he was walking around with his dick out! Most everyone saw, including my grandparents. Luckily, I didn't. He was embarrassed the next day.

He just got engaged, called my husband and said, 'Hey man, you can totally pull your dick out at my wedding. I won't be mad.' 😑" —Bianca Penaylillo Caruso, Facebook

17. The big spill.

"Somebody got too drunk and spilled red wine on the flower girl in the white dress before the photos. And then they hid and tried to pretend they didn't do it. It was me. I quit drinking and am now (more or less) a very civilized guest." —Michelle Kelm, Facebook
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

"Somebody got too drunk and spilled red wine on the flower girl in the white dress before the photos. And then they hid and tried to pretend they didn't do it. It was me. I quit drinking and am now (more or less) a very civilized guest." —Michelle Kelm, Facebook

18. The awkward pause.

"I went to a wedding that had technically been called off the previous Friday. They decided to go ahead and 'see what happens' after the honeymoon. When the minister did his 'speak now or forever hold your peace' spiel, the room was filled with the most pregnant, awkward silence. After several seconds, he said, '…Last chance…' They also did a symbolic gesture where they tied their hands together, which certainly made things less awkward.

After the ceremony, I don't think they actually touched, spoke, or looked each other in the eye. They immediately went for the alcohol.

In a shocking turn of events, the couple is no longer married." —susanrebeccah

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19. The three-hour tour.

"At my aunt's wedding, the grandchildren of the groom were pole dancing. The groom's daughter was cheating on her husband in the bathroom, and the bride cut her matron of honor in the face while cutting the cake. Best of all, we were on a boat so there was no way to leave! Once the boat got to shore we were sure to run off first!" —jadiem

20. The absent officiant.

"I was at a wedding where the officiant did not show up. It was a Friday evening; he forgot and went fishing instead. We all went to the reception without the marriage actually happening. After dinner, someone found a judge to do the ceremony, so the whole wedding party walked down the street to a nearby outdoor gazebo and the bride and groom got married, then walked back and continued the reception." —Randi Klag Mieyal, Facebook
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

"I was at a wedding where the officiant did not show up. It was a Friday evening; he forgot and went fishing instead. We all went to the reception without the marriage actually happening. After dinner, someone found a judge to do the ceremony, so the whole wedding party walked down the street to a nearby outdoor gazebo and the bride and groom got married, then walked back and continued the reception." —Randi Klag Mieyal, Facebook

21. The disappearing mom.

"I went to a wedding once and we couldn't find the mother of the bride anywhere. She was found in a hotel room. In a compromising position. With the best man. Whose girlfriend was at the wedding." —jenner82

22. The family brawl.

"The brother and sister of the bride got blacked out drunk and started brawling. The sister was screaming like a deranged banshee, but the bride wasn't even fazed. She and the groom just kept walking around the room thanking guests for coming while the rest of the family tried to break up the fight for at least an hour. Apparently this was a common occurrence for their family." —amykc119

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23. The baby mama drama.

"One of the groom's baby mama's somehow got the location of the wedding and ran inside the reception screaming, 'I SLEPT WITH HIM LAST NIGHT, HE WAS IN MY BED!' while swinging a baseball bat around. Several of the groomsmen ended up tackling her outside until the cops came. As she was getting arrested, she was crying and trying to apologize, but that didn't work. The poor bride was about eight months pregnant and so stressed out; I felt so bad for her. You can't make this stuff up." —amykc119

24. The cake flake.

"I went to my cousin's wedding several years ago. The wedding was nice but long and there were three hours between the wedding and the reception. A number of people ended up going to the casino that was nearby; some people proceeded to get rather trashed. When we were finally at the reception venue, the DJ was announcing the wedding party, and it came time for the bride and groom to walk in. They got to the door and the bride saw the cake (which was BEAUTIFUL, by the way) and she immediately flipped out. They had apparently put the wrong flowers on the cake; real flowers that would be removed before eating it anyway. She refused to come through the door, so all of her bridesmaids dismantled their bouquets and redecorated the cake. The entire thing, from meltdown to her actually walking in, took almost an hour. She pretty much pouted the entire night after that." —Erwinious

25. The crazy cousin.

"A few years ago my cousin got married and the stepsister of the groom who wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid turned up on the day in a floor-length gown almost the exact same color as the real bridesmaid dresses and an enormous feathered hat (to a fairly small, casual daytime ceremony) and proceeded to wipe her armpits in the middle of the vows with deodorant wipes. In the front row. In full view of the wedding video being filmed." —kirstyb5
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

"A few years ago my cousin got married and the stepsister of the groom who wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid turned up on the day in a floor-length gown almost the exact same color as the real bridesmaid dresses and an enormous feathered hat (to a fairly small, casual daytime ceremony) and proceeded to wipe her armpits in the middle of the vows with deodorant wipes. In the front row. In full view of the wedding video being filmed." —kirstyb5

26. The pinch hitter.

"At my aunt's wedding, the bride (my aunt) got punched straight in the face by one of her very drunken bridesmaids who thought my NEWLYWED AUNT was flirting with the bridesmaid's boyfriend." —EvermoreMadness

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27. The breast-fed bride.

"The sister of the bride had just had a baby, so she was still breast-feeding. Both the bride and the sister had had a lot to drink. The bride started dancing on tables and we thought this was trashy enough at your own wedding — she shocked us though by getting breast-fed on the dance floor by her sister." —corab

28. The frisky groom.

"I was chatting with the groom during the reception and he asked if I wanted to have a threesome with him and his new wife. I responded that it may not be appropriate since they were just married and his response was, 'A ring doesn't cover a hole.' I still declined." —Meizee

29. The bride on fire.

"I caught on fire at my own wedding. We were walking the tables greeting our guests and my dress grazed a candle. One of the groomsmen was walking by and screamed, 'You're on fucking fire!' So my groom, a few guests, and the observant groomsman were all slapping at the back of my dress to put me out. They did and my sister whipped out the garment tape and rearranged the back of my skirt so none of the melted black tulle was visible and we kept partying!" —sarah150
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

"I caught on fire at my own wedding. We were walking the tables greeting our guests and my dress grazed a candle. One of the groomsmen was walking by and screamed, 'You're on fucking fire!' So my groom, a few guests, and the observant groomsman were all slapping at the back of my dress to put me out. They did and my sister whipped out the garment tape and rearranged the back of my skirt so none of the melted black tulle was visible and we kept partying!" —sarah150

30. The goldfish and the groom.

"My mother was at a wedding awhile ago; the centerpieces were goldfish and the bride's father got so wasted that he swallowed some live goldfish, then more people joined in. Even the bride and groom. Let's just say that after an hour the centerpieces were empty bowls." —carolinelapointe13

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31. The bad brother.

"My brother-in-law made a toast and called me the name of my husband's ex. Then he proceeded to make a scene and cry about it for almost an hour afterward." —jwilde31

32. The party pooper.

"A member of the wedding party shit his pants." —James Tyler Kinghorn, Facebook

33. And this utter tragedy.

"I once went to a wedding without an open bar." —rankg47aeb248b

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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