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27 Things Guys Do That Are Total Lady-Boner Killers

Welcome to the nope zone.

1. He hates cats.

2. And maybe also dogs.

And he's PROUD about it.

3. He doesn't own books.

4. Or he does, except they're all by Charles Bukowski.

5. And thinks that Norman Mailer and Hemingway and Jack Kerouac are gaaaawwwwwwds.

6. And has he told you yet about how many times he's read Infinite Jest?

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7. He won't shut up about chemtrails conspiracy theory.

8. Or how much he loves Doritos.

9. He's racist.

10. He's sexist.

11. He's homophobic or transphobic.


12. He's rude to waitstaff at restaurants and he doesn't tip well.

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13. He writes "haha" or "LOL" after things he really truly feels or thinks.

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Because he's afraid of appearing actually earnest or ~real~.

14. He's always explaining what it's like to be a woman to actual women.


15. Or just mansplaining in general.

16. He tells you he hates it when girls have short hair.

It's so unfeminine. Let him tell you all about it.

17. But LOL, his style? He wears Vibram Five Finger shoes everywhere.

18. Or Crocs.

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Sorry Mario Batali!

19. He lives for his hemmed denim jean shorts.

20. And cargo pants, even though he has never actually fixed anything in his life.

Not actually a handy man.

21. He has ashy feet or hands.

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22. He asks you if you're on your period when you're upset.

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No. No. NOPE.

23. He constantly brags about how much money he makes.

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24. And is out to prove he's the alpha male of any group.

So dumb.

25. He thinks it's totally okay to make sexist comments, even if it's about other women, or fictional characters or women on TV.

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26. He talks trash about other women — his ex, a celebrity woman, his boss.

27. And finally, worst of all, he treats you with anything less than a zillion percent respect.

Total, zillion percent dealbreaker.