Guys, it was a good year to be a snake.
Snakes were everywhere in the news/your life.
Snakes were ON THE COME UP.
Snakes really came into their own during the #KimExposedTaylorParty kerfuffle between T. Swift, and Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.
The snake emoji really thrived.
It had a LIFE OF ITS OWN.
Snakes were most recently employed against Blac Chyna in her breakup with Rob Kardashian.
But also real-life snakes HAD A REALLY GREAT YEAR. They were in everybody's houses.* Like this 16-foot python that slid on into this woman's bedroom in the middle of the night.
There was the snake who decided he'd blend in with the garland on a Christmas tree.
And there was the HORRIFIED woman who found two pythons fighting in her pool — over the love of a third snake.
Meanwhile, in Australia, this bro enjoyed drinking beers and "swimming" with his pet snake Dora.
But then snakes made it into the stratosphere — LITERALLY. There were MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON MOTHERFUCKING PLANES. OK, one snake on a plane. That's really enough, right?
Please enjoy the entire horror show here:
La vibora voladora...ja ja ja. Una experiencia única en el Vuelo Torreón-México, vuelo 231 de Aeroméxico. Eso si...… https://t.co/KUopRP4WDf
You guys, this dude had the tip of his penis bitten by a python that came up through his toilet.
TOILET PYTHONS ARE MY LITERAL NIGHTMARE. Also, he's OK.
We asked important snake questions.
And had important snake thoughts.
Everybody was feeling the existential dread/delight of snakes.
Up in Canada, 75,000 snakes awoke at once for mating season. Also, our nightmares awoke.
Snakes helped us make important decisions.
They are really going places.
Just hopefully NOT IN YOUR HOUSE.
