1.
Why do we lure people in with a false agreement, before revealing our true answer: No.
2.
Why do we go barefoot while driving, at the shops and at pretty much all venues โ even if we're nowhere near a beach?
4.
Why do we insist on littering every fucking swear word under the sun throughout our goddamn sentences?
7.
Why do we naturally have a vocal inflection that makes it sound as if everything we say is a question?
9.
Why do we pay hundreds of dollars to fly to Bali and sit on the beach, when we have the best beaches in the world on our doorstep?
10.
Why do we go on and on about our undying love for this smelly yeast paste?
12.
Why do we force ourselves, friends and visiting celebrities to drink from a shoe?
14.
Why do we never question our close proximity to these jacked-up marsupials that could knock us out cold?
15.
Why do we unashamedly boast about our stunning weather year-round (because let's face it, even our winters are still very mild)?
20.
Why do we pretend to get excited for the uber-Americanised celebration known as Halloween?
22.
Why do we leave our sunny, coastal oasis in droves and head off to the UK for several years?
23.
And finally, why do we make light of the fact that Australia is home to the world's deadliest animals and insects?