"The Kissing Booth" Is Better Than "The Godfather" And I Think It's Time Someone Said It

It's sacrilegious, but it needed to be said.

1. The dramatic tension of The Kissing Booth 2 's love triangles is unmatched

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The mob. Family betrayal. Old-school shoot-outs in fancy Italian restaurants. None of this compares to the two (!) separate love triangles in this mildly anticipated sequel. A love triangle between Elle/Noah/Marco comes with its own drama, but another, separate love triangle with Elle/Noah/Chloe? I'm at the edge of my seat. Yes, The Godfather's iconic Sollozzo/McCluskey dinner shoot-out will remain as an iconic piece of cinema, but watching Noah Flynn dejectedly drive away on his motorcycle is up there, too.

2. Don Corleone does not know how to play Dance Dance Revolution like Elle Evans

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The man didn't even dance at his daughter's wedding. Elle Evans could certifiably smoke the old geezer at any song on the DDR machine, and I would bet Elle's Harvard fund on it. Don Corleone could get one of his cronies to work the machine for him, but they also don't seem that nimble on their feet. Either way, any sort of high energy routine seems bad for his heart. Which, while we're speaking about life stressors:

3. The Kissing Booth is a very organized charity event, whereas Don Corleone's mob is unorganized and focused on crime.

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Say what you will about the state of Elle Evans' personal life, when it comes to her business, the girl runs a tight ship. For the second year in a row, she got the most popular kids in school to volunteer for her kissing booth, whereas Don Corleone can't conduct any business without a familial betrayal. If Don Corleone ran his crime business the way Elle Evans ran her charity event, there wouldn't even be enough content for a TV episode, let alone a 177-minute gangster "epic". Which brings me to my next point:

4. The Kissing Booth 2 is only two hours and 11 minutes long

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Any movie worth its salt could be told in two and a half hours, and though the Kissing Booth 2 barely squeaks by that requirement, the 177-minute behemoth The Godfather has no excuse. Since its release, the classic film has made it seem acceptable for movies to be 3 hours. NO! If you cut out the lingering shots of the Italian countryside, The Godfather could be a breezy hour-and-a-half (and better for it). Sure, the Kissing Booth 2 could stand to lose a couple of excess minutes in its runtime, but the twists and turns of the aforementioned love triangle(s) need time to build, so I'll compromise.

5. The Kissing Booth passes the Bechdel Test

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And not even the Don can argue with that.