Rhetoric: language that is intended to influence people and that may not be honest or reasonable
Most of us use rhetoric as our primary form of communication. Few times are the words that come out of our mouths selfless or tell what we really mean. This is why I became fascinated not with what people say in the moment, but what they wish they had. I found meaning in what people could have said, should have said, but didn't.
When I asked people, "If you could go back in time to say something to anyone, what would you say?", I expected different answers from everyone due to their unique experiences. This was not the case; people generally had similar answers. Additionally, I asked them to write their answer. Partially because I believe that a person's handwriting shows a small part of their personality, but also because humans speak more freely, effectively, and honestly when they do not have to communicate face to face. Below are their responses:
This, is why people write- it is a connection only with a person and paper, rather than a complex person attempting to communicate with another. It allows them to freely express what they think without hesitation. The following quote by Anaïs Nin alludes to this: "We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect." The most accurate form of communication is through writing; where one is not distracted by the moment, but intently focused on how to honestly and effectively say what must be said. A time when all other elements are removed and communication is in its simplest form. Our writing contains our most private thoughts, so after hearing those of strangers I was led to a larger question: Why do humans lack this ability to honestly speak with the people we most want to?
Since most of the people I spoke with wrote down similar things, it would make sense that we have similar experiences which lead to some similar thoughts. Assuming this is true, it was surprising that humans do not freely communicate with each other while at the same time wishing they could. Perhaps it is fear of what another might say, fear of the unknown, or maybe we do not know how to express our thoughts at that moment the prevents us.
Yet maybe, by keeping our most honest thoughts to ourselves we create feelings. By not sharing those thoughts, wishes, desires, and emotions we allow ourselves to remember that moment. Through writing what we wish we could have said, we share that communication with ourselves rather than another. By not speaking honestly we allow ourselves further reflection and communication within ourselves.
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