Quiz

BuzzFeed Staff

BuzzFeed

<b>By all means, take them off my hands!</b>

Which One Of My Lame Ex-Boyfriends Should You Date?

Fitness Guy OBVIOUSLY had the legs of Tim Curry in his hey day, but he made me eat a few spinach leaves once and I could never quite move past it. I really tried, but it was a BIG hurdle for us (no pun intended.)

Fitness Guy

He said he was a musician which is really at the top of my boyfriend checklist, but after I moved in I noticed a lack of instruments. Apparently he was into "post alternative air rock", which is a new underground sub-sub-genre. It was cool, but not my jam truthfully, and it's hard to be with someone whose art you just don't respect.

The "Artist"

WOW. Way to sink your claws in early! We're ~still~ dating, so how about you move it along? SHOO!

Idris Elba

I stayed with him because my mom really liked him and the fact that he knew how to cook eggs (unlike all my other exes.) Unfortunately, he was quite literally chained to his computer (he had one of those medieval anklets) and didn't go out much, which clashed with my extroverted personality.

Finance Bro

Ok, let me explain: Thaddeus was a one-night stand that became something more, mainly because I'm bad at saying no and it was cuffing season. Sometimes we just have to go for the casual person because it's just easy, you know? He's got a great sense of humor, also.

Thaddeus

Freddy's really not a bad guy, but he just keeps appearing in my dreams and instead of killing me, just takes me on super long dinner dates. Which are fine, but like, dinner dates are so rigid! I just wish he'd take me to the beach or something sometime. He's just a little stuck in his ways is all.

Freddy Krueger

I went through an experimental phase in college and one night I had 1.5 Long Island Iced Teas instead of my usual half and, well, that resulted in a four-month affair. Clown man definitely kept me on my toes, but he could also be suuuuch a drag sometimes. He just needs someone to brighten him up.

Clown man

He was one of the good ones. Very flexible, never talked back. Was on the shy side, but it worked. In the end though, he was kind of weak and didn't really have much ambition, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I need a man who WANTS something in this world, you know?

A piece of paper that says "boyfriend"

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Which One Of My Lame Ex-Boyfriends Should You Date?

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