1.
You'll want them when your friends have them and then immediately hate them once you get them.
2.
You soon realize that any colors but silver are futile and don't actually make braces more fun.
3.
Your regular tightening sessions are dates set in hell.
4.
And you never know when a wire in the back will go rogue and make your mouth the dental version of an iron maiden.
5.
Which is why you have to paste blobs of wax to your teeth like a total weirdo.
6.
AND THE RUBBER BANDS. WHAT SINS DID HUMANS COMMIT TO HAVE TO WEAR RUBBER BANDS?
7.
And you have to buy an arsenal of tiny, creepy brushes and brush after EVERY meal.
8.
You will never miss this sensation more in your entire life.
9.
Sandwiches? Naaaah, bitch. You cut your food now.
10.
HAHAHAHA, NOPE. NOT YOU.
11.
Kissing will feel like a part of life not meant for the likes of you.
12.
Your smiles for the next two years look completely disingenuous...and totally obvious.
13.
And real smiling has to be done with caution, lest your upper lip gets caught.
14.
People keep telling you horror stories about getting cavities under every tooth when you get them off.
15.
And you never know when you'll have to get more accessories, or if you'll need braces for longer than you planned.
16.
So you live in fear until the fateful day your braces are scheduled to come off.
17.
But then you have a retainer for the rest of your life, WHOOPS.
18.
But it's ok because literally all of us go through this. It's a bonding experience.
