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13 Superstitions That Explain Why Your Love Life Sucks

You're doing everything wrong!

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1. You've been sitting at the corner of a table.

AMC/Breaking Bad / Via

All the single (Russian) ladies have heard this at one point, and been warned that they won't get married for seven years as a result.

2. You avoid eye contact during a toast.

Warner Bros. Pictures/The Great Gatsby / Via

That, and not clinking each glass individually, or accidentally crossing your arm with someone else's equates to seven years of bad sex, bro. CAREFUL.

3. You leave leftovers on your plate.

NBC/30 Rock / Via

A Romanian superstition, which means you'll marry someone super ugly. But hey, it justifies eating more food, all the time, forever, so how bad is your life, really?

4. You dropped a pair of scissors.

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Means you're being cheated on. And it turns out there are a lot of weird superstitions involving scissors. Check it.

5. You haven't counted enough white horses.

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This one is up for debate -- some sources say you have to count 60 horses, one mule and shake the hand of the person you will marry, others say one hundred horses (where every mule equals 10 horses) and no handshake. Either way, you should start immediately if you ever want to find anyone.

6. You shave your legs regularly.

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Women who don't shave marry rich. AKA your whole life has been a lie until now.

7. You haven't sewn a swan feather into your loved one's pillow.

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8. You were a bridesmaid and tripped on your way up the aisle.

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9. Someone gave you a knife as a present.

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Time to return that Cutco gift set, otherwise your current relationship will be "severed"

10. Someone swept over your feet while sweeping the floor.

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You'll be forever alone.

11. You were a bridesmaid three times.

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Bridesmaids supposedly protect the bride from evil spirits, so going to three weddings means you've accumulated enough nastiness to be single for life. But at least your friends really like you!

12. You've burnt some kind of bread product.

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It's a sign that your partner is secretly mad at you. Then again, you clearly can't even make toast, so what are you good for?

13. You haven't eaten 100 chicken gizzards or swallowed one whole chicken heart.

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Doing either means you can marry anyone you want. So get on it.

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