7 Ways To Thrive During The Holidays

It's easy to become overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out during the busy holiday season. Your everyday routine gets interrupted, your diet changes, and you can easily get wrapped up in working to make the season special for those around you and forget to care for yourself. These experts have contributed easy-to-implement tips for staying healthy and happy this year.

1. Just say no

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There are lots of duties during the holidays, as well as many celebrations. The ability to say “NO” to some of them will help keep your schedule under control. Investing a few moments of discomfort to decline an invitation (or buying time – “let me get back to you”) and you will receive the gift of more time and less stress.

- J. Russell Ramsay, Ph.D., is co-author of The Adult ADHD Tool Kit

2. Worried about holiday weight gain? Go easy on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

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In addition to the calories contained in the alcohol itself, experiments have shown that social drinking increases how many calories you consume in the form of food. In addition, you are more likely to store what you eat as body fat when you are concurrently drinking. So if you are watching your weight, have some sparkling water or another nonalcoholic drink at your office's holiday party (which may also help prevent other behaviors you would later regret!).

- Alexandra W. Logue, PhD., author of The Psychology of Eating and Drinking and an internationally known behavioral scientist.

3. Lapse, don't collapse

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The demands of the holiday season will disrupt your typical routine to some degree. Make sure small “lapses” in exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating don’t turn into “collapses.” If you have to skip a workout, make doubly sure that you reserve time in your schedule to go to the gym the next day.

- J. Russell Ramsay, PhD., is co-author of The Adult ADHD Tool Kit

4. Buy less, give more of yourself

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When my son was 3, I went dumpster diving for a huge refrigerator box. The in-laws were appalled by my Christmas gift, but my son loved it far more than anything else he received, especially when I helped him cut doors and let him sleep inside. It taught me that gift giving is more satisfying and less stressful when we give gifts that reflect thoughtfulness for what those we love actually values. I’ve never heard anyone say they didn't appreciate something homemade and given to them out of love. This holiday season I’d suggest be less concerned with what things cost and more about how much of yourself is invested in the gift.

- Michael Ungar, PhD., author of Working with Children and Youth with Complex Needs, family therapist and professor of social work at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Canada.

5. Don't run on empty

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When people are not being kind to themselves, they become distractible, feel sorry for themselves, and become highly irritable. Tempers can flare if people are depriving themselves of care for the self. Think of ways that you may be prone to depriving yourself of life's small pleasures during this holiday season. For example, when you're driving to work, are you listening to music you love? Are you eating the comfort foods you love? Are you making time for exercise, or for a peaceful nature walk? Are you nurturing gratitude about what you do have, instead of nurturing resentment for what is missing? Are you making time for yourself to unplug, get off-line, and take a hot bath and just think? Are you doing all the things you know will bring you peace and contentment? Do these things and you'll feel better about life and you will be kinder and more generous to the people around you.

- John M. Gottman, PhD., is author of Principia Amoris, a scholar and researcher renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction.

6. Schedule time for intimacy

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Staying emotionally and sexually connected during the holidays is a challenge, but very worthwhile. Most sexual encounters are planned or semi-planned, especially during the holidays. Although everyone values spontaneous, dramatic, fun sex, planned sex is important and meaningful. Yes, you are a daughter or son, sibling, parent, cook, and home helper, but just as important is your identity as a sexual person and couple. Give yourselves the holiday gift of a vital and satisfying sexual relationship.

- Barry McCarthy, PhD., is the author of Rekindling Desire, a clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, and certified sex and marital therapist.

7. Attune to your loved ones to build trust

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Take time to build trust during this holiday season. All great love relationships run on the motto, "Baby, when you're hurting, the world stops and I listen." To attune, first pick a time when you're willing to listen and then ask your partner, "Baby, what's on your heart and mind right now?" Then listen to all your partner's feelings, hopes, dreams, needs, and wishes without getting defensive. Wait a beat before you react. Reflect back what you heard. It's especially important to listen to any negative emotions your partner may have about you, asking open-ended questions, and being accepting and validating. Validating means you get why your partner might have these feelings, that they make sense to you. Make attuning a holiday habit.

- John M. Gottman, PhD., is author of Principia Amoris, a scholar and researcher renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction.