10 Reasons NOT To Be A Suicide Bomber

Ten simple truths about the career path of an Islamic-Jihad ‘martyr’

‘Oops, I did it again…’

1. Such a career choice is almost certain to piss off your mother.

2. It would be very difficult to find a girlfriend which such gruesome hopes for the future.

3. Killing yourself in the hopes that you will be met by 70 virgins in the afterlife is not all its cracked up to be. I mean, what if they turn out to be seventy old nuns? Not very appealing, is it? You never know. It’s a big risk to take.

4. The funeral would be very messy indeed.

5. What to wear for such an occasion?

6. I don’t think I-Pods are ‘Jihad-proof.’

7. Your child will likely not have a very good time on your ‘bring-your-kid-to-work’ day.

8. There is no cigarette smoking allowed in the afterlife.

9. Occupational hazards include loss of limbs, decapitation, rape and imprisonment in the event you choose to leave ‘the movement’ and follow a different career path.

10. The dishevelled, unshaven, black-facemask look is really rather unattractive.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

  Your Reaction?

    Starting soon, you'll only be able to post a comment on BuzzFeed using a Facebook account or via our app. If you have questions or thoughts, email us here.

    Hot Buzz

    The Home Office Missed Repeated Warning Signs That An LGBT Charity Was About To Collapse

    Does SpongeBob Squarepants Have A Penis? An Investigation

    Now Buzzing