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1. He's manly
2. He's aware he's a man and not some furry, woodland species
3. He's basically a carnivore
And he's creative with his red meat dishes
4. He's patriotic
5. He drinks Lagavulin 16
Like, almost exclusively...
...even when he's deathly ill
And he's a fun drunk
6. His fondness of whiskey is rivaled only by his love for breakfast foods
7. He mentors the next generation as troop leader of the Pawnee Rangers
And by coaching youth basketball
WITH THIS.
9. He does a great Bobby Knight impression
9. He only works for the government to try and subvert it
10. But he still holds honor in the highest regard
In fact, it's at the top of the Pyramid of Greatness
11. He's self-reliant...
...but he's always there when you need words of encouragement
12. He always has advice
13. His alter ego, Duke Silver
14. He has a vast vocabulary
15. In spite of everything, his macho demeanor has weaknesses...like riddles
And Lil' Sebastian
Ron. Fucking. Swanson.
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