I'm not one for dating apps.
I've never used them before, and I don't see myself using them in the future. Even though several of my friends are heavy Tinder or Bumble users, I've never felt the urge to download the apps and experiment with them.
This, however, changed recently when Vanity Fair began launching a series of YouTube videos where comedians "hijack" other people's phones and fool around on Tinder. If you haven't seen them before, check them out here. They're great.
All of a sudden, I was inspired to download a dating app and take a test drive. Of all the dating apps on the market, I chose Bumble because I felt it had a very large scope, and I like the idea that your matches have to message you first.
After the app downloaded (and I set up my profile), I gave myself three criteria:
1.) use the app for 24 hours max
2.) only swipe right
3.) make every single conversation revolve around Daughtry
Yes, I'm talking about the band led by national treasure / former fourth-place contestant of American Idol's fifth season, Chris Daughtry. If you can't remember him by name, you surely remember him from his smash 2007 singles "It's Not Over", "Home", and "Over You".
Below are my results. They aren't too surprising.
For reference, this is what my profile looked like:
1.) Starting off strong
2.) No hesitation
3.) Clarification is key
4.) At least she thought I was cute
5.) One and only one
6.) It's arguably more romantic
7.) It'd be cooler if she was "more of a bar"
8.) The worst is when you get caught by your boss at work
9.) I have an extra ticket – if anyone wants to go hmu
10.) 9/10 would recommend
11.) I thought this warranted a response
12.) I blame this on our nation's flawed education system
13.) "Monterey Cristo" sounds like a new delicious kind of cheese
14.) After this whole experience, however, I can safely say that I found true love.
